-==破烂熊乐园倾情奉献==- 本字幕仅供学习交流，严禁用于商业用途
谨以本片翻译纪念本人参与字幕翻译十周年
感谢破烂熊始终坚持自己喜欢的内容 始终坚持志愿原则 拒绝商业用途
向破烂熊的各部英剧翻译致敬 向一众大小熊熊致敬 向音乐剧《悲惨世界》《歌剧魅影》破烂熊翻译版本致敬
感谢原风软字幕组 感谢我们一起度过的曾经美剧的最好时光
向我们的同行伊甸园字幕组 原人人字幕组 深影字幕组等等 以及数不胜数的个人高手和英文兴趣字幕组致敬
-=破烂熊字幕组=- 翻译&校对&压制：影子熊 个人十周年纪念作
片名：金牌制片人
马必脱制作 哈姆雷特音乐剧 搞笑男孩
开演 开演 ♪ Opening night, opening night ♪
今夜好戏要开演 ♪ It's opening night ♪
马必脱的全新大戏 ♪ It's Max Bialystock's latest show ♪
一炮而红 还是一败涂地 ♪ Will it flop or will it go? ♪
演员们已经开始谢幕 ♪ The cast is taking its final bow ♪
观众们正起身离席 ♪ Here comes the audience now ♪
大门打开 就将散场 ♪ The doors are open They're on their way ♪
我们来听听 他们评价怎么样 ♪ Let's hear what they have to say ♪
又打脸了 又打脸了 ♪ He's done it again. He's done it again ♪
马必脱果然又打脸了 ♪ Max Bialystock has done it again ♪
简直无法直视 ♪ We can't believe it ♪
令人目瞪口呆 ♪ You can't conceive it ♪
他一定是垃圾厂的厂长 ♪ How'd he achieve it ♪
才造得出垃圾中的战斗机 ♪ It's the worst show in town ♪
我们如坐针毡 ♪ We sat there sighing ♪
尴尬症已经发作 ♪ Groaning and crying ♪
毫无疑问的结果 ♪ There's no denying ♪
这是垃圾中的杰作 ♪ It's the worst show in town ♪
我们只想起哄喝倒彩 ♪ Oh, we wanted to stand up and hiss. ♪
明显是坨屎 怎能下得脚去踩 ♪ We've seen shit, but never like this ♪
马必脱又打脸了 Max Bialystock has done it again.
歌曲太烂 剧本全完 ♪ The songs were rotten. The book was stinking. ♪
莎翁吐血在九泉 戏剧圈也丢尽脸 ♪ What he did to Shakespeare. Booth did to Lincoln. ♪
为了他的烂戏 我们特别准备了这种牌子 We had this specially made up for Max Bialystock.
（开幕首演 --> 闭幕终演）
我们慌忙逃窜 ♪ We couldn't leave faster ♪
（报纸标题:《搞笑男孩》不搞笑…）
真是一场灾难 ♪ What a disaster ♪
我们心有余悸 ♪ We are still in shock ♪
这是谁的手笔 ♪ Who produced this schlock ♪
就是臭不可闻 烂剧之王 马克思·必亚脱 ♪ That slimy, sleazy Max Bialystock ♪
（马克思·必亚脱 戏剧制作人）
真够呛！ ♪ What a bum! ♪
有人吗 Hello?
必亚脱先生？ Mr. Bialystock?
有人在吗？ Anybody here?
必亚脱先生？ Mr. Bialystock?
你是谁 你来干嘛 Who are you? What are you doing here?
你要干嘛 What do you want?
说话 傻瓜 快说话 Speak to me, dummy, speak!
你不说话干嘛呢 Why don't you speak?
吓着了 回血呢 Scared. Can't talk.
好吧 抱歉了 All right. I'm sorry.
不好意思 冷静点 I'm sorry. Calm down.
别紧张 这边来 Get a hold of yourself. Come with me.
这边 来 There. Come on. Come on.
来 这边 留神脚下 Come on. Right this way. Watch your step.
行了 深呼吸 Look. Just......Take a deep breath.
慢慢呼出来 Let it out slowly.
- 你是谁 -我是李奥·布鲁姆 Who are you? I am Leopold Bloom.
我是白富马事务所的会计师 I'm an accountant. I'm from Whitehall & Marks...
我来帮您查账的 and I have come here to do your books.
查账的是吧 Oh, you have, huh?
谁啊？ Well, listen...... Who is it?
抱宝宝 摸宝宝 Hold me, touch me.
抱宝宝 摸宝宝 这是我的投资人 Hold Me-Touch Me. One of my backers.
我要见一个很重要的投资人 Listen, I have to meet with an important investor.
帮我个忙 去上个厕所 Do me a big favor. Go to the bathroom.
- 可是我并无三急 - 去吧去吧 But I don't have to go. Try. Try.
想象一下尼加拉瓜瀑布 飞流直下 Think of Niagara Falls.
这就来 亲爱的！ Be with you in a moment, my darling!
抱宝宝 亲宝宝 这是哪个宝宝来着？ Hold Me-Touch Me. Where is Hold Me-Touch Me?
亲宝宝摸宝宝 掐宝宝捏宝宝 舔宝宝咬宝宝 吮宝宝插…… Kiss Me-Feel Me, Pinch Me-Pinch Me, Lick Me-Bite Me, Suck Me-F......
找到了 抱宝宝亲宝宝 Here she is. Hold Me-Touch Me.
您这招真管用 我一想到飞流直下... You know, it worked. As soon as I pictured Niagara Falls...
回去！回去！别出声 Back! Back! Don't make a sound.
来啦 来啦 Coming, coming.
好多了 Better.
你好 大美人 Hello, gorgeous.
- 抱宝宝 摸宝宝 - 关上门咱就来 Hold me, touch me. As soon as I shut the door.
今天有没有带票票？ Did you bring the checkie?
没票票的话 小必必就搞不了舞台剧了 Bialy can't produce plays without checkies.
给你 Here you go.
不过 咱们先玩个游戏怎么样？ But first, can we please play a game?
脏脏的小游戏 One dirty little game.
没问题 我的小野猫 All right, my little sex kitty.
玩点什么呢？ What shall we play?
- 少女和泥瓦匠？ - 不要啦 The Debutante and the Bricklayer? Oh, no.
不要吗 No.
教士和瑜伽教练？ How about the Rabbi and the Contortionist?
你喜欢这个的 小阿姨 帮你保持身体柔韧 You like that one, Mama, keeps you limber.
这样 我们玩处女挤奶工和巨根马夫 I know. Let's play the Virgin Milkmaid and the Well-Hung Stable Boy.
我恐怕是有心无力啊 I don't think I have the strength.
- 放心宝贝 我会裙下留情的 - 好吧 Oh, don't worry. I'll be gentle. All right.
哎哟哟 Oh, dear!
这桶奶有些吃重 This milk is so heavy.
人家背不到宅子去了呢 I'll never reach the house.
这不是巨根马夫吗 You there, well-hung stable boy.
能帮帮人家嘛？ Won't you please help me?
没问题 奶油小女王 Of course, my little dairy queen.
第一步 我拿你的奶 First, I'll take your milk.
第二步 我拿你的贞操！ Then I shall take your virginity!
不不不 不要 No. No. Never. No.
好好好 我要 Yes. Yes.
给我 巨根 快给我 Give it to me, well-hung, give it to me.
宝贝 等会 我早起连咖啡还没喝呢 Darling, wait! I haven't even had coffee yet.
慢慢来 慢慢来 Take it easy. Take it easy.
天啊 Oh, my God!
- 快让我上天 你这小野兽 - 遵命 Send me to the moon, you animal. Yes.
- 让我上天 - 遵命 Send me to the moon. Yes.
好了宝贝 星期四 周四再说 Yes, my darling. Thursday. Come back Thursday.
我周四再送你上天 I'll send you to the moon Thursday.
没准我也跟你一起上天 I may even join you.
不过先说说票子 票票呢 But first the checkie. Where's the checkie?
快点 快点 先把票票找出来 Come on, come on, find the checkie.
瞧你急的 Oh, here you go.
我照你说的开的 I made it out like you told me.
- 投资剧目叫《现金》 - 对的 To the title of the play, "Cash." Yes.
这剧名字好直白 就叫《现金》？ It's a funny name for a play, "Cash."
没错 Yes.
《冰人来了》不也很直白嘛 那么我们周四见 So was The lceman Cometh. I'll see you Thursday.
拜拜 Ta-ta. Ta-ta.
拜拜 拜拜 Bye. Bye.
你个老色胚 You dirty old buzzard.
我能出厕所了吗？必亚脱先生？ Mr. Bialystock?
行 出来吧 Yeah, sure.
很抱歉撞见您和这位老妇人的特别交情 I'm terribly sorry I caught you feeling up the old lady.
“特别交情”？ "Feeling up the old lady."
谢了 会计师先生 Thank you, Mr. Tact.
- 我帮您拿外套好吗？ - 谢谢 May I take your coat? Oh, thank you.
- 这么说 你是算账的？ - 是的先生，我是算账的 So, you're an accountant? Yes, sir, I am, sir.
那我就跟你算算账！ Then account for yourself!
老熟女怎么了 你作何居心？ Why are you looking up little old ladies' dresses?
有点变态 是吧 Bit of a pervert, eh?
我知道你想什么 I know what you're thinking.
你没有调查研究 凭什么谴责我？ How dare you condemn me without knowing all the facts?
- 必亚脱先生，我没有… -闭嘴！ Oh, Mr. Bialystock, I wasn't--Shut up!
我只是自说自话 I'm having a rhetorical conversation.
-你知道我以前有多风光？ - 我知道 Do you know who I used to be? Why, yes.
您是马必脱先生 百老汇之王 Yes. You were Max Bialystock, the King of Broadway.
不对，我是马必…你居然说对了 No, I'm Max......That's right.
没错 而且我要说 马必脱先生 That's right. And might I say, Mr. Bialystock...
您别误会 and please don't take this the wrong way...
您可不只是一个龌龊老头 but you're not just a dirty old man.
谢了 Thank you.
您还是百老汇大制作人 You're also a great Broadway producer.
我也跟您自我介绍一下 And there's something about me you should know.
小时候我有幸 去看过必脱42秀 When I was a kid, I had the good fortune to be taken to Bialyhoos of Forty-Two.
- 你看过我的戏？ -没错没错 Oh, Bialyhoos? Yes. Yes.
票根我还收藏着 And I still have the ticket stub.
哦 好怀念 -Oh, look at that. -Yeah.
那时开始 我就暗暗许下秘密梦想 And ever since, I've had a secret desire...
要成为百老汇制作人 to be a Broadway producer.
秘密梦想是吧？ A secret desire, huh?
孩子 我分享你一点人生经验如何？ Well, kid. Can I give you a little advice?
- 好的先生 - 继续把你的梦想当成秘密吧 Yes, sir. Keep it a secret.
好好算账 左边顶上的抽屉 Do the books, please. Top drawer to the left.
天啊 Oh, my God!
看见没有 Will you look at that?
就这样宝贝！身体有本钱 就秀出来！秀出来！ That's it, baby! When you got it, flaunt it! Flaunt it!
必亚脱先生 聊一分钟行吗 Mr. Bialystock, may I speak to you a minute?
- 一分钟？ - 是的 A minute? Yes.
- 就一分钟？ - 是的 Just one minute? Yes.
- 好 - 查过您的账本后 Okay. In glancing at your books--
- 开始！ - 我发现 Go! I noticed that--
你还有58秒 你已经浪费了2秒钟 You have 58 seconds left. You've wasted two seconds.
- 您要计时？ - 时间就是金钱 You're gonna time it? Time is money.
好吧 我查了您的账本 Right. Well, I looked at your books...
这“剧目收入”的一栏 I looked at the columns marked "Plays Received"...
- 48秒 还有48秒 - 数目有点对不上 48 seconds. 48 seconds left....and I can't make the figures...
- 快点！快点！ - 必亚脱先生 Hurry! Hurry! ...Mr. Bialystock...
您的账本算法有问题 there's a problem with your figures.
28秒 你快没时间了 Twenty-eight seconds. You're running out of time.
- 滴-答，滴-答 - 这样不行… Tick-tock, tick-tock-- I cannot......
- 不行不行 -15秒 12秒 I cannot. I cannot-- Fifteen seconds. Twelve.
- 我这样不行 - 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. I cannot function... 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
这样不行 ...under these conditions.
你搞得我太紧张了 我要… You're making me extremely nervous. I was......
- 这是什么？手帕？ - 什么？这个？不 这是 What is that, a handkerchief? What? This? No, this is......
这个不是什么重要的东西 It's nothing. It's nothing.
既然不重要 那让我看看 Well, if it's nothing, then why can't I see it?
我的毯子！我的蓝毯子！ My blanket! My blue blanket!
还我蓝毯子！ Give me back my blue blanket!
还我蓝毯子！ Give me my blanket!
还我！还我！还我毯子！ Give it to me. Give it to me. Give me the blanket!
还我 拜托快还我 Give it to me. Give it to me, please.
还我 还我 还我毯子 Give it to me. Give it to me. Give me the blanket.
快 快 快给我 Here, here, here, here. Give it to me.
别慌 别慌 别慌 Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic.
对不起 I...... I'm sorry.
我讨厌别人碰我的小蓝毯子 It's just that I don't like anyone touching my blue blanket.
没事的 小小的强迫症 It's not important. It's a minor compulsion.
只要我想控制还是能控制的 I can deal with it if I want to.
不过还是婴儿时候就这样了 But I've had it ever since I was a baby...
只要这样就特别舒服呢 and I find it very comforting.
我得躺一会了 I need to lie down for a minute now.
福无双至 祸不单行 They come here. They all come here.
瘟神你为何如此疼我 How do they find me?
嘿 孩子 Hey, kid.
嘿 呦吼 Hey. Yoo-hoo!
瞧瞧这 Look at this.
我怎么才能帮你？ How can I help you?
怎么了？ What's wrong?
- 你想跳上来踩我 - 什么 You're gonna jump on me. What?
- 你想跳上来踩我 - 没有 You're gonna jump on me. No.
- 你就是想跳上来踩我 - 并没有 冷静点 I know you're gonna jump on me...No. Calm down.
- 像踩虫子一样踩死我 - 哦天啊 ...and squash me like a bug. Oh, God.
不要踩我 Please don't jump on me.
我不会踩你 不会踩你 I'm not gonna jump on you.
冷静点 冷静点 Get a hold of yourself. Stop it. Stop it.
冷静 冷静 冷静 冷静 Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
别碰我 别碰我 Don't touch me. Don't touch me.
又怎么了 What's the matter now?
我的歇斯底里发作了 I'm hysterical. I'm having hysterics.
一旦这样我就停不下来 停不下来 我失控了 I can't stop when I get like this. I can't stop. I'm hysterical.
看得出来 好了 好了 I can see that. All right. All right.
这就来 冷静点 I'm coming, I'm coming. Take it easy.
这就来 这就来 好了 All right. I'm coming. I'm coming now. All right.
我湿透了 我湿透了 I'm wet. I'm wet.
我失控了 我湿透了 I'm hysterical and I'm wet.
我好痛 I'm in pain.
我好痛 我湿透了 I'm in pain, I'm wet...
我失控了 and I'm still hysterical.
救命 我该怎么办 All right, all right. What can I do?
我都要失控了 You're getting me hysterical.
你走 你吓着我了 别离我太近 Well, move away. You'll frighten me. You're too close.
- 我吓着你了？ - 对 你去那边 I frighten you? Yes, get over there...
什么也别碰 那边去 那边去 and stop touching all this. Move over there, get over there...
- 坐好 - 坐好了 我坐好了 and sit down. I'm sitting. I'm sitting.
你看起来还是很生气 You still look angry.
对不起 这样如何？ I'm sorry. How's this?
我家小会计在哪呢？ Who's my little accountant?
你是我家小会计么？ Are you my little accountant?
- 我就是 - 你是我家小会计么 I am the man. Are you my little accountant?
- 我就是 - 没错 你就是 I am. Yes, you are.
您能微笑太好了 Well, thank you for smiling.
这让我感觉好多了 That helped a great deal.
俗话说得好 Well, you know what they say?
“笑对世界 世界还你微笑” "Smile and the world smiles with you."
这人不该放弃治疗啊 This man should be in a straitjacket.
- 感觉好点了吗 - 好多了 谢谢您 You feeling better? Oh, yes, I'm fine now.Thank you.
很好 Good.
跟您说说刚才的事行吗 May I speak to you?
遵命 王子殿下 您说什么是什么 Yes, Prince Mishkin. What can we do for you?
这可不是开玩笑的时候 必亚脱先生 Well, this is hardly the time for levity, Mr. Bialystock.
我发现了严重的问题 I've discovered a serious error...
您上一部剧的账目 in the accounts of your last show...
- 搞笑男孩 - 哪里？怎么了？ Funny Boy. Where? What?
从融资账目上看 您募集到十万元 Well, according to the backers list, you raised $100,000...
但是您的戏只花了九万八 but your show only cost $98,000.
有两千元没有计算在内 There's $2,000 unaccounted for.
我拿去做大保健了 谁管这个 反正戏演砸了 I went to a Turkish bath. Who cares? The show was a flop.
小布 拜托了 小数点上做点功课 Bloom, do me a favor. Move a few decimal points around.
你能做到 你是专业会计师 You can do it, you're an accountant.
所谓会计 有身份证的职业 You're part of a noble profession.
能掐会算应该是常事嘛 The word "count" is part of your title.
- 这是犯法 - 别拿法律说事 It's cheating. It's not cheating.
你这是行善 It's charity.
小布 Bloom...
看见这胸针了么 you see this stick pin?
这原来有颗珍珠 比你眼珠子还大 This once held a pearl as big as your eye.
曾经我也是穿着意大利手制皮鞋 I used to wear handmade ltalian shoes...
五百一件的好衣裳 $500 suits.
瞧瞧我现在 看我现在的尊荣 And look at me now. Look at me now!
连皮带都是纸糊的 I'm wearing a cardboard belt.
小布 你得救我 Bloom. You gotta save me.
我就指望你了 我不想进监狱 I'm reaching out to you. Don't send me to prison.
行~行~好~吧 Help me!
好吧 好吧 All right. All right.
- 好 交给我吧 - 真的？ Okay, I'll do it. Really?
- 对 交给我吧 - 哇 Yes, I'll do it. Wow.
我看看 两千不算多 Let's see, $2,000 isn't so much.
- 放进其它开销应该没问题 - 好 I'm sure I can hide it someplace. Yeah.
反正国税局对演砸的戏也没兴趣查账 Yeah. After all, the lRS isn't interested in a show that flopped.
说得好 好想法 Right. Good thinking.
交给你了 我先小睡一会 You figure it out. I'm going to take a little nap.
那么 算算看 Well, let's see.
把这些扣除额加进来 Let's see, if we add up these deductions we get...
三进位 除个四 carry the three, divide by four......
真惊人 Amazing.
太惊人了 It's absolutely amazing.
若是处理得当 But under the right circumstances...
演砸的戏反而比大红的戏能赚更多钱 a producer could make more money with a flop than he could with a hit.
非常有可能 Yes, it's quite possible.
如果做一出必砸的戏 If he were certain that a show would fail...
制作人可能发大财 a man could make a fortune.
- 这个好 - 好什么 Yes? Yes, what?
你说得好啊 接着说 Yes what you were saying. Keep talking.
我说什么了 What was I saying?
你刚才说如果处理得当 You were saying that under the right circumstances...
做出烂戏可能会发大财 a producer can make more money with a flop...
- 比热门大戏赚的还多 - 是这样 很有可能 than he could with a hit. Well, yes. It's quite possible.
你只说了有可能 但是没说怎么做 You keep saying that, but you don't say how.
这个啊 就是简单的做账技巧 Well, it's simply a matter of creative accounting.
假设一下 你是一个缺乏诚信之人 Let's assume for a moment, that you are a dishonest man.
- 如假包换 - 好 Assume away. All right.
你在做上一部戏《搞笑男孩》的时候 When you produced your last show, Funny Boy...
比你所需的成本多募集了两千元 you raised $2,000 more than you needed.
但是如果你多募集了一百万 But you could have raised $1 million...
投到你成本十万的剧里 其它的就能装进腰包 put on your $100,000 flop and kept the rest.
- 那如果这戏火爆了呢？ - 那你就得进监狱了 But what if my show was a hit? Well, then you would go to jail.
因为实际上你是按照一百万制作这个剧 You see, rather than 100% of the show...
那你就必须卖出一千万的票房 you would have sold more than 1,000%.
即使成功 这也是个不可能的数字 你无法偿还投资 So if the show's a success, there's no way to pay off the backers.
- 明白了吗 - 明白了 Get it? Got it.
按咱们这条奇谋妙计 就得做一出极品烂戏 So in order for our scheme to work, we'd have to find a surefire flop.
我们的“妙计”？什么妙计？ Our scheme? What scheme?
“什么妙计？” What scheme?
你的妙计 你这小天才！ Your scheme, you bloody little genius!
我可不是搞阴谋 I meant no scheme.
我这只是理论上对账目做个假设 I merely posed a little academic accounting theory.
灵光一现而已 It was just a thought.
世界就是靠一次次灵光一现转动的 Worlds are turned on such thoughts.
明白吗 小布 亲爱的小布 超可爱的小布 Don't you see, Bloom? Darling Bloom, glorious Bloom.
再简单不过了 It's so simple.
第一步 我们找出最烂的剧本 Step one, we find the worst play ever written.
第二步 我们请最烂的导演来执导 Step two, we hire the worst director in town.
第三步 我去募集两百万 Step three, I raise $2 million.
- 两百万？ - 没错 一百万归我 一百万归你 Two? Yes. One for me, one for you.
老熟女们可是排队等着给我送钱 There's a lot of little old ladies out there.
第四步 集结纽约最烂的演员 在百老汇上演 Step four, we hire the worst actors in New York and open on Broadway.
等不到你说第五步 我们就闭幕收摊 And before you can say "step five," we close on Broadway...
带上两百万 直奔里约 take our $2 million, and go to Rio.
里约？不行 这不行的！ Rio? Oh, no, that would never work.
看你的小胆量 ♪ Oh, ye of little faith ♪
在远征陷入困局时 刘易斯对克拉克说了什么 ♪ What did Lewis say to Clark when everything looked bleak ♪
攀登天险珠峰时 ♪ What did Sir Edmund say to Tenzing ♪
埃德蒙对丹增说了什么 ♪ as they struggled toward Everest's peak ♪
穿越特拉华时 ♪ What did Washington say to his troops ♪
华盛顿对他的部队说了什么 ♪ as they crossed the Delaware ♪
你一定都记得 ♪ I'm sure you're well aware ♪
他们都说什么 What did they say?
我们做得到 ♪ We can do it ♪
我们做得到 就靠我和你 ♪ We can do it, me and you ♪
我们做得到 ♪ We can do it ♪
我们可以让梦想变成真 ♪ We can make our dreams come true ♪
你所渴望的一切 ♪ Everything you've ever wanted ♪
正等待你来拥有 ♪ Is just waiting to be had ♪
项链蔽体 美女赤身 ♪ Beautiful girls wearing nothing but pearls ♪
抚你全身 除你衣裤 让你神魂颠倒 ♪ Caressing you, undressing you and driving you mad ♪
不行 No.
小布 Bloom.
小布 等等 听我说 Bloom, wait a minute now. Hear me out.
好好想想 Just think about it.
我们做得到 我们做得到 ♪ We can do it, we can do it ♪
这可容不得你退缩 ♪ This is not the time to shirk ♪
我们做得到 你不会后悔 ♪ We can do it, you won't rue it ♪
快告别你办公的小鸟窝 ♪ Say goodbye to petty clerk ♪
你好 制作人 就是你 制作人 ♪ Hi, producer! Yes, producer ♪
就是你 先生 来全力一搏 ♪ I mean you, sir, go berserk ♪
我们做得到 我们做得到 ♪ We can do it, we can do it ♪
只要有心 马到功成 ♪ And I know it's gonna work ♪
怎么样 小布 What do you say, Bloom?
我看如何 ♪ What do I say? ♪
终于在百老汇有戏可做 ♪ Finally a chance to be a Broadway producer ♪
我看如何 ♪ What do I say? ♪
未来终于不是梦 一切就要被掌握 ♪ Finally a chance to make my dreams come true, sir ♪
我看如何 我看如何 ♪ What do I say? What do I say? ♪
我的答案我来说 ♪ Here's what I say to you, sir ♪
我做不到 我做不到 ♪ I can't do it, I can't do it ♪
我做不到 那不是我 ♪ I can't do it, that's not me ♪
我是失败者 我无比懦弱 ♪ I'm a loser, I'm a coward ♪
胆小如鼠的我 您看不出来么 ♪ I'm a chicken, don't you see? ♪
若是用取悦女子来逼我 ♪ When it comes to wooing women ♪
不如推我去刑场解脱 ♪ There's a few things that I lack ♪
项链蔽体 美女赤身 ♪ Beautiful girls wearing nothing but pearls ♪
追着我 拥抱我 我会想死加休克 ♪ Chasing me, embracing me I'd have an attack ♪
你这胆小懦弱的可怜虫 Why you miserable, cowardly, wretched, little caterpillar!
你就不想化蛹成蝶？ Don't you ever want to become a butterfly?
不想振翅高飞 步向光荣？ Don't you want to spread your wings and flap your way to glory?
不想 No.
- 去哪？ - 中央公园 Where to? Central Park.
呼吸点新鲜空气 新鲜空气 Gotta breathe. Gotta breathe.
- 我们做得到 我们做得到 - 必亚脱先生 请别再唱 ♪ We can do it, we can do it ♪ ♪ Mr. Bialystock,stop this song ♪
- 携手同行 大成可得 - 到此为止 勿费口舌 ♪ We can grab that Holy Grail ♪ ♪ You got me wrong, I say, "So long" ♪
我不是强人高手 只是你高看了我 ♪ I'm not as strong a person as you think ♪
- 我们做得到 我们做得到 - 必亚脱先生 请看看我 ♪ We can do it. We can do it ♪ ♪ Mr. Bialystock, just take a look ♪
- 我没有骗人天分 只是个胆小蠢货 - 香槟随便喝 ♪ I'm not a crook, I'm just a schnook ♪ ♪ Drink champagne ♪
- 我的底线我要说 - 啤酒别想哄你我 ♪ The bottom line is that I stink ♪ ♪...not ginger ale ♪
- 来吧 小布 别怕 小布 - 我做不到 ♪ Come on, Leo, can't you see, oh? ♪ ♪ I can't do it ♪
你看见里约的大床 我只看见监牢的铁窗 ♪ You see Rio, I see jail ♪
司机 下车 Driver, stop!
给钱 Here.
我们做得到 ♪ We can do it ♪
我做不到 ♪ I can't do it ♪
我们做得到 ♪ We can do it ♪
我做不到 ♪ I can't do it ♪
- 我们做得到 - 我做不到 ♪ We can do it ♪ ♪ I can't do it ♪
- 我们做得到 - 我就是就是就是做不到 ♪ We can ♪ ♪ I cannot, cannot, cannot do it ♪
因为我知道 这件事成不了 ♪ 'Cause I know it's gonna fail ♪♪
成不了？怎么会成不了？给自己一点勇气 Fail? How can it miss? All you need is a little courage.
你知道你像什么？你就像… Bloom, do you know what you are? You're like a... You're like a...
你就像沉睡的喷泉 等待喷发 直射天际 You're like a fountain waiting to explode and shoot into the sky.
- 我是喷泉？ - 对 喷泉！ I'm a fountain? Yes, you're a fountain.
你可知道 Don't you realize...
人只拥有此生此世是不够的 他还应该有诗意的世界 there's a lot more to you than there is to you?
必亚脱先生 恐怕您这次是看走眼了 Mr. Bialystock, I'm afraid you've made a terrible error in judgment.
我不是什么栋梁之才 You've mistaken me for someone with a spine.
我要回白富马事务所了 I'm going back to Whitehall & Marks now.
- 别走 - 再见 还是不见吧 No. Goodbye forever.
小布 小布 等等 小布 Bloom. Bloom, wait a minute. Bloom.
这个时间你去哪打车啊 Think about it. You'll never get a cab at this hour.
主啊 全能的主 Oh, Lord. Dear Lord.
赐我横财万贯吧 I want that money.
不开心 不开心 ♪ Unhappy, unhappy ♪
非常不开心 ♪ Very unhappy ♪
不开心 不开心 ♪ Unhappy, unhappy ♪
非常非常 非常非常 大型不开心 ♪ Very, very, very, very, very, very, very unhappy ♪
小布 Bloom.
你他娘的上哪欣赏枕头去了 Where the hell have you been?
整整迟到了六分钟 You are six minutes late.
这是商业事务所 不是度假会所 This is an accounting firm, not a country club.
别想着出入自由 来去如风的 You can't come and go as you please.
好的 白富马先生 Yes, Mr. Marks.
给我记住 你就是一滴水 一颗螺丝钉 Remember, you're a nobody.
区区一个公设会计师 A PA, a public accountant.
而我 一名注册会计师 And I am a CPA, a certified public accountant.
我这样的成就 你这等蛆虫 A rank a miserable little worm like yourself...
- 这辈子休想染指了 - 明白 白富马先生 could never hope to achieve. Yes, Mr. Marks.
- 谢谢您让我有幸交谈 - 不必客气 Thank you for speaking to me. You're welcome.
你们看什么？ What are you gawking at?
没见过本老板骂人吗？ You never saw a person humiliated before?
给我干起活来 全都干起来！ Now get back to work. All of you.
不开心 不开心 ♪ Unhappy, unhappy ♪
非常非常 非常非常 大型不开心 ♪ Very, very, very, very very, very, very unhappy ♪
穷我一生 算来算去 ♪ I spend my life accounting ♪
只有我与数字为伍 ♪ With figures and such ♪
不开心 ♪ Unhappy ♪
我的人生 又算什么 ♪ To what is my life amounting ♪
屈指一算 两袖清风 ♪ It figures not much ♪
不开心 ♪ Unhappy ♪
我有一个秘密梦想 ♪ I have a secret desire ♪
在我心中深深埋藏 ♪ Hiding deep in my soul ♪
如同火苗和冬日暖阳 ♪ It sets my heart afire ♪
仿佛我也曾成功一场 ♪ To see me in this role♪
我想做金牌制作人 ♪ I wanna be a producer ♪
在百老汇一炮而红 ♪ With a hit show on Broadway ♪
我想做金牌制作人 ♪ I wanna be a producer ♪
午餐要出入三钻餐厅 ♪ Lunch at Sardi's every day ♪
我要做金牌制作人 ♪ I wanna be a producer ♪
高帽戴起 手杖傍身 ♪ Sport a top hat and a cane ♪
我要做金牌制作人 ♪ I wanna be a producer ♪
让合唱团的女孩们为我疯狂 ♪ And drive those chorus girls insane ♪
我要做金牌制作人 ♪ I wanna be a producer ♪
想每天睡到日上三竿 ♪ And sleep until half past two ♪
我要做金牌制作人 ♪ I wanna be a producer ♪
我来选你 你 你…没你事 ♪ And see you, you, you...Not you ♪
我要做金牌制作人 ♪ I wanna be a producer ♪
开幕之夜穿上燕尾服 ♪ Wear a tux on opening night ♪
我要做金牌制作人 ♪ I wanna be a producer ♪
看我小布大名闪遍霓虹灯 ♪ And see my name "Leo Bloom" in lights ♪
他要做金牌制作人 ♪ He wants to be a producer ♪
在百老汇一炮而红 ♪ Of a great big Broadway smash ♪
他要做金牌制作人 ♪ He wants to be a producer ♪
每个荷包都塞得鼓鼓 ♪ Every pocket stuffed with cash ♪
他要做金牌制作人 ♪ He wants to be a producer ♪
任性起来我们没法挡 ♪ Pinch our cheeks till we cry ♪
爽 Oh, yes!
他要做金牌制作人 ♪ He wants to be a producer ♪
有超舒服的试戏大沙发 ♪ With a great big casting couch ♪
- 我要成为 - 他要成为 ♪ I wanna be ♪ ♪ He wants to be ♪
我要成为惊才绝艳 震古烁今 国士无双的大制作人 ♪ I wanna be the greatest, grandest and most fabulous producer In the world♪
他要和名门望族谈笑风生 ♪ He wants to dine with a duchess and a duke ♪
我就要做金牌制作人 ♪ I just got to be a producer ♪
香槟喝醉到呕吐 ♪ Drink champagne until I puke ♪
香槟喝醉到呕吐！ ♪ Drink champagne till he pukes! ♪
我就要做金牌制作人 ♪ I wanna be a producer ♪
让世界看我的能耐 ♪ Show the world just what I got ♪
我将上演大戏 ♪ I'm gonna put on shows ♪
让观众臣服 ♪ That will enthrall them ♪
在专栏上看到我的大名 ♪ Read my name in Winchell's column ♪
我想成为金牌制作人 ♪ I wanna be a producer ♪
因为此生此世 我注定平凡 ♪ 'Cause it's everything I'm not ♪
不开心 不开心 ♪ Unhappy, unhappy ♪
我想做制作人 ♪ I wanna be a producer ♪
非常非常 不开心 ♪ Very, very unhappy ♪
不开心 ♪ Unhappy ♪
我想做制作人 ♪ I wanna be a producer ♪
- 等等 等等 - 不开心 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. ♪ Very, very unhappy ♪
都停下 全都停下 Hold everything. Hold everything.
我还在这里干嘛 What am I doing here?
必亚脱先生说得对 Mr. Bialystock was right.
人拥有此生此世是不够的 There is a lot more to me than there is to me.
世界停转吧 我要去追梦了 Stop the world, I wanna get on.
这他娘的是什么情况 What the hell is going on in here?
这臭不可闻的自尊气息哪里来的 Do I smell the revolting stench of self-esteem?
布鲁姆 你造的哪门子反 Bloom, where do you think you're going?
厕所时间已经过了 You've already had your toilet break!
我才不是要去厕所 I'm not going into the toilet.
我要进军娱乐圈 I'm going into show business.
白富马先生 我正式通知你 我不干了 And Mr. Marks, I have news for you. I quit!
你说的对 你是注册会计师 And you're right about one thing. You are a CPA...
国家注册的大混球！ a certified public asshole.
鸭舌帽还你 Here's my visor...
2B铅笔也还你 my Dixon Ticonderoga No. 2 pencil...
再还你一句告别 and my big finish.
金牌制作人就是我 ♪ I'm gonna be a producer ♪
金牌制作人就是他 ♪ He's gonna be a producer ♪
小心了 百老汇 ♪ Look out Broadway ♪
小生就要出山 ♪ For here I come ♪
必亚脱先生 我回来了 Mr. Bialystock, Mr. Bialystock, I'm back!
我回来了 我改变主意了 I'm back. I've changed my mind.
亲 你太灵了 Boy, you are good.
- 你在跟谁讲话 - 没事 老朋友而已 Who are you talking to? Never mind, just an old friend.
- 怎么会改主意的？ - 我明白了 我明白了 What happened? Just this. Just this.
我嘴上说怕犯事 怕坐牢 When I said that I was scared that I was going to go to jail...
但我只不过身在更大的监牢里 I didn't realize that I already was in jail.
我花了半生为别人算账 I've spent my life counting other people's money.
但我比他们聪明 比他们优秀 People I'm smarter than. Better than.
何时才能轮到我小布捞上第一桶金 When's Leopold Bloom going to get his share?
何时才是我小布功成名就之日 When is it going to be Bloom's Day?
我要……我要 I want......I want......
我要得到 电影中才能看到的一切 I want everything I've ever seen in the movies.
小布 你一定能心想事成 因为 And Leo, you're gonna have it 'cause......
- 我们做得到 我们做得到 - 我要成为制作人 ♪ We can do it, we can do it ♪ ♪ I'm gonna be a producer ♪
告别阴郁和埋怨 ♪ Say goodbye to woe and gloom ♪
- 只要努力赚大钱 - 我要成为制作人 ♪ With the millions and the zillions ♪ ♪ I'm gonna be a producer ♪
珠联璧合 就是你我 ♪ Up together we will zoom ♪
我们做得到 我们做得到 ♪ We can do it, we can do it ♪
好戏搞成垃圾 我最擅长 ♪ Every show I touch, I doom ♪
注定搭档 就是你我 ♪ We were fated to be mated ♪
我们就是老马小布组合 ♪ We're Bialystock and Bloom ♪
老马 老马 放弃吧 Max. Oh, Max, let's give up.
我看不下去了 I can't read anymore.
一个正常人能看得下多少剧本 How many plays can a person read?
别抱怨了 我们必须得挑出烂剧本中的烂剧本 Stop complaining. We have to find the worst play ever written.
- 我都看了一晚上了 - 那又怎样 I've been reading all night. Who cares?
制作人就得这样 看了又看 读书万卷 You wanna be a producer, read, read, keep reading.
这个不错 第一幕 第一场 Here's one. Act 1, Scene 1.
“一天早晨 格里高利萨姆沙从不安的睡梦中醒来” "Gregor Samsa awoke one morning...
“发现自己变成一只巨大的甲虫” "to discover that he had been transformed into a giant cockroach."
不行 这本子好得过分了 Nah, too good.
“你怎么看到我的 这可是毛玻璃” "But how could you see me? The glass was frosted......"
等等 等等 我看过这本了 Wait a minute. Wait a minute, I've read this before.
我记得看过这本了 叫什么来着 I think I've read this one......What's it called?
“毛玻璃奇遇” "The Frosted Glass. "
老马 我把昨晚看过的剧本又看了一遍 Max, I'm reading plays that I read last night, Max.
我不行了 太多了 I can't go on anymore. It's too much.
算了吧 咱们挖不出宝来的 Let's face it, we'll never find it.
挖不出宝来？挖不出宝来？ We'll never find it? We'll never find it, huh?
挖不出宝来？挖不出宝来？ We'll never find it, huh? We'll never find it, huh?
小李 小李 看这个 Leo, Leo, see it?
好好闻闻 好好摸摸 亲亲它 亲亲它 Smell it, touch it, kiss it. Kiss it!
这可是一潭宝藏 It's the mother lode.
这是什么？烂剧本？ What is it? You found a flop?
“烂剧本” 这么形容太失礼 "A flop." That's putting it mildly.
简直是渣中至渣 彻头彻尾的灾难 This is a catastrophe. A disaster.
反种族 反宗教 反人类 Certain to offend peoples of all races, creeds and religions.
只能挺过一场的暗黑剧本 A guaranteed-to-close-in-one-night beauty.
那咱们瞧瞧 Well, let's see it.
“希特勒也有春天” "Springtime for Hitler. "
“伊娃与阿道夫的情爱秘史” "A gay romp with Eva and Adolf at Berchtesgaden."
厉害 Oh, my God.
简直厉害 "Oh, my God" is right.
这简直就是写给希特勒的一封情书 It's practically a love letter to Hitler.
- 老马 这个戏连一周都演不下来 - 一周？开什么玩笑？ Max, this won't run a week. A week? Are you kidding?
演到第四页就得砸锅 This play has got to close on page 4.
作者叫什么来着？ What's the author's name again?
弗兰兹·李波肯 纽约州 纽约市 珍街61号 Franz Liebkind, 61 Jane Street, New York, New York.
弗兰兹·李波肯 珍街61号 Franz Liebkind, 61 Jane Street.
咱们出发 去把《希特勒也有春天》买下来 Let's go. We'll get the Broadway rights to Springtime for Hitler...
给他点钱咱也认了 even if we have to go as far as to pay him.
走吧 Come on.
老马 这顶帽子 我能戴吗 This other hat, Max, may I wear it?
- 并不能 - 为什么？ No, you may not. Why?
因为这是百老汇制作人的帽子 Because, that is a Broadway producer's hat.
你不能随便戴百老汇制作人的帽子 And you don't get to wear a Broadway producer's hat, son...
除非你真正成为百老汇制作人 until you're a Broadway producer.
你现在还不是百老汇制作人 除非 And you're not a Broadway producer, until you--
知道 知道 除非我把一部真正的百老汇剧目做起来 I know, I know. Until I've produced a show on Broadway.
不过我很快就能带上这帽子 因为 But, I'm going to wear that hat, and soon, too, 'cause...
我们就是金牌制作人 ♪ We're gonna be the producers ♪
空前绝后 一场烂戏 ♪ Of a great big Broadway flop ♪♪
甚好 甚好 心肝宝贝 Ja, ja, my lieblings.
吾引你来 Let me grab you, ja.
吾等有大事要做 We have work to do.
希尔达 亲爱的 Hilda, my darling...
吾已修书一封 here, I have written an important message...
定要发赴恩尼斯·施隆多夫 which must reach Ernst Schlongdorf...
西圣地牙哥大道29号 29 West Santiago Boulevard...
阿根廷布宜诺斯艾利斯 Buenos Aires, Argentina.
速达！从速送达！ AQAP. As quick as possible!
飞吧 希尔达 飞吧 Fly, Hilda, fly.
希尔达 汝飞赴何处？ Hilda, where are you going?
阿根廷往那边飞啊 Argentina is that way.
好了 喂食时间 Okay, chow time.
（屋顶禁止进出）
香了个香 尝完还要尝 Yummy, yummy, yummy, goes right into your belly.
咱们问问看 不过我打赌这就是咱们要找的人 It's just a hunch, but I'm betting this is our man.
老马 他穿着德军头盔和工兵裤 Max, he's wearing a German helmet and lederhosen.
我看见了 不要在意细节 就装看不见 Yeah, I know. Don't notice. Don't notice anything.
一直前进别看两边 记住了 咱们需要这剧本 Always look straight ahead. Remember, we need that play.
弗兰兹·李波肯？ Franz Liebkind?
吾从未加入纳粹！ I was never a member of the Nazi party.
吾只是听命行事 吾从未参与战事 I only followed orders. I had nothing to do with the war.
吾甚至不知有战争 I didn't even know there was a war on.
吾等只是驻扎后方 瑞士那边 We lived in the back, right across from Switzerland.
只听过瑞士的高山调 All we ever heard was yodeling.
高山青~绿水长~ yodeling
汝是何人？ Who are you?
冷静 李波肯先生 我们不是政府的人 Relax, Mr. Liebkind. We're not from the government.
我们是制作人 必亚脱和小布 We're producers, Bialystock and Bloom...
我们来跟您聊聊剧本 here to talk to you about your play.
吾之剧本？ My play?
汝说的是某某之春…… You mean, Springtime for......
某人之春？ You-know-who?
- 正是 - 汝等以为如何？ That's the one. What about it?
我们很喜欢 很喜欢对吧 我们爱死这剧本了 We love it. Don't we love it? We love it.
这剧本堪称杰作 我们想把它搬上百老汇 We think it's a masterpiece. We want to put it on Broadway.
百老汇？ Broadway?
哦 乐事中的乐事 Oh, joy of joys.
梦想中的梦想 难以置信 Dream of dreams. I can't believe it.
- 吾要告诉鸟儿们 - 告诉鸟儿们 I must tell my birds. Tell your birds.
奥拓 波塔 亨兹 海蒂 沃尔夫冈 Otto, Bertha, Heinz, Heidi, Wolfgang...
阿道夫 Adolf.
汝可听说？ Do you hear?
吾等终于有望 洗刷元首之名 We are finally going to clear the Fuhrer's name.
百老汇！ Broadway!
汝可知道 一般人吾不告诉他 You know, not many people know this...
我们元首舞姿拔群 but the Fuhrer was a terrific dancer.
真的？还真是不知道 是吧 小李 Really? Gee, we didn't know that, did we, Leo?
不知道不知道 真是不知道 No, no, we sure didn't.
因为汝等都被BBC洗了脑 That is because you were taken in by the BBC.
肮脏的不列颠谎言 Filthy, British lies.
他们可说过丘吉尔一丁点不好？ But did they ever say a bad word about Winston Churchill?
丘吉尔 Churchill.
狗屁雪茄 狗屁白兰地 With his cigars, with his brandy...
艳俗的画作 俗气！ and his rotten paintings. Rotten.
有这样一位画者 希特勒 Hitler, there was a painter.
一下午就能把一整间屋涂抹 刷两遍漆 He could paint an entire apartment in one afternoon. Two coats.
没错没错 Yes, yes.
他绝对是人上之人 李波肯先生 Yes, of course he could, Mr. Liebkind...
所以我们想要做你这出戏 and that is exactly why we want to produce your play.
让大家看到真实的希特勒 您所敬爱的希特勒 Show the world the true Hitler, the Hitler you loved.
您所熟知的希特勒 心中有歌的希特勒 The Hitler you knew, the Hitler with a song in his heart.
来 弗兰兹·李波肯 在这签名 Here, Franz Liebkind, sign here...
让你的梦想成真吧 and make your dream a reality.
- 吾拒绝 - 吾拒绝？ Nein. Nein?
- 不行 - 说不行就不行么？ No. That's what "nein" means.
首先 汝等必须信吾所信 想吾所想 First, you must prove to me that you believe as I believe...
歌吾所歌 舞吾所舞 by joining with me and singing and dancing...
元首的最爱 “日安小舞曲” the Fuhrer's favorite tune, "Der Guten Tag Hop-Clop."
没错 很期待吧 I know.
日安小舞曲？ 日安小舞曲 Der Guten Tag Hop-Clop? Der Guten Tag Hop-Clop.
不行 我不能唱什么元首最爱的 Oh, no, I could never sing the Fuhrer's favorite--
欢乐的 欢乐的……小调 Delighted, delighted....song.
闭嘴 他眼看就要签了 Shut up, he's almost ready to sign.
好 汝等先将裤脚卷起来 All right, first you will roll up your pants.
- 明白吗 - 明白 - 明白 （德语） (speak Germany)
卷起来 卷起来 Rolling, rolling. Rolling, rolling.
不要爱惜羽毛 露出点腿来 Come on, don't be stingy, show some leg.
- 很好 - 行吗 Alrighty, good. Good.
- E大调？ - 还用说？ Key of E? Is there any other?
准备好 一 二 三（德语） (speak Germany)
日安就蹦一蹦 ♪ Guten Tag hop hop ♪
日安就跳一跳 ♪ Guten Tag clop clop ♪
哦 亲爱的小男孩 ♪ Ach du lieber Und oh boy! ♪
日安就拍一拍 ♪ Guten Tag clap clap ♪
日安就打一打 ♪ Guten Tag slap slap ♪
哦 我们何等的欢乐 ♪ Ach du lieber What a joy! ♪
哦 吃了喝喝喝 喝了吃吃吃 ♪ Oh, wir essen und fressen Und tanzen und trinken ♪
喝到烂醉如泥 唱不出歌 ♪ Tanzen und trinken Until we get stinking ♪
一起来！ Everybody.
日安就蹦一蹦 ♪ Guten Tag hop hop ♪
日安就跳一跳 ♪ Guten Tag clop clop ♪
日安 我亲爱的 ♪ Guten Tag, mein lieber Schatz ♪
我们载歌载舞 ♪ So we hop our hops ♪
我们旋转舞步 ♪ Und we clop our clops ♪
烂醉如泥 直到杯盘见底 ♪ Und we drink our Schnapps Till we platz ♪
汝等一起摇摆？ ♪ You will sway ♪
我们一起摇摆 ♪ We will sway ♪
跟上我 Follow me.
非常棒 Very good.
- 你拍一我拍一 - 都听你的 Handschlagspiel. Whatever you say.
再来个 假动作 ♪ This is a tricky one ♪
啊 醉人的旋舞 久违了！ Oh, the hop-clop. It's been so long.
算是纳粹土风舞吧 Sort of a Nazi hoedown.
先生们 吾允许你们制作我的剧本 Gentlemen, you may produce my play.
好极了 好极了 来来来 Excellent, excellent. Here we are. Here.
不过你们需要许下齐格飞誓词 But only if you take the Siegfried Oath.
齐格飞誓词 什么名堂？ The Siegfried Oath? What's that?
永远效忠我们敬爱的元首 The pledge of eternal allegiance to our beloved Fuhrer.
绝对不行…… Never...
- 没体验过这样的誓言 - 好 took that oath before. Good.
一个给我 一个给你 一个给你 One for me, one for you, and one for you.
真不行……没体验过这种装饰 Never...had one of those on before.
- 非常感谢 - 不客气 Thanks very much. You're welcome.
颜色不错 Nice colors.
可以翻面的 Look, reversible.
- 没错 - 老马你来 Oh, yeah, you're right. Max.
老马 咱们可不能这么干啊 Max, we never should have started this.
咱们有点越陷越深了 I think we're getting in too deep.
陷得太深了？这才哪到哪 Too deep? This is nothing.
陷得太深时候我会提醒你的 I'll tell you when we're getting in too deep.
好吧 All right.
首先 举起右手 绷直手指 跟着吾念 First, you raise your right forefinger und repeat after me.
吾庄严宣誓 I solemnly swear...
我庄严宣誓 I solemnly swear.
遵守神圣的齐格飞誓言 ...to obey the sacred Siegfried Oath.
遵守神圣的齐格飞誓言 To obey the sacred Siegfried Oath.
以及 Und...
- 以及 - 以及 Und... Und.
- 绝对 绝对 绝对 - 绝对 绝对 绝对 ...never, never, never... Never, never, never.
绝不污蔑 阿道夫·伊丽莎白·希特勒 的名声与荣誉 ...dishonor the spirit und the memory of Adolf Elizabeth Hitler.
绝不污蔑 Dishonor the spirit and the......
伊丽莎白？ Elizabeth?
对 此乃元首的中名 Ja, that was his middle name.
一般人吾不告诉他 Not many people know this...
其名承自某位英女王的远亲血缘 but the Fuhrer was descended from a long line of English queens.
真的吗 Is that right?
行吧 Yes.
阿道夫·伊丽莎白·希特勒 Adolf Elizabeth Hitler.
好 现在吾可签约了 Good, now I sign your contract.
好极了好极了 这个给您 Excellent, excellent. Oh, here we are.
签在这根虚线上 Right here on the dotted line.
好极了 绝不辜负您的期望 There you are. You shall never regret this.
好了 谢谢您 So, thank you, Herr Liebkind. Alrighty then.
- 谢谢 - 甚好 Thank you. Very good.
别生气 别生气 Let it go, let it go.
停下！ Halt!
吾有一事要提醒二位 I forgot to tell you.
如若破了神圣誓言 The penalty for breaking the Siegfried Oath...
下场就是屎 is death.
屎？您是说下场就是死么？ Dess? Is that anything like death?
似的 Yes.
听起来真可怕 Sorry to hear that.
尽管放心 我们一定坚守誓言 小心从事 Don't worry. We'll iron out all these thorny details over strudel.
再见 大个子 我们先走了 Ta-ta, big guy. Here we go.
门锁了 门锁了！ We're trapped, trapped.
行了 有空约饭 Got it. Let's have lunch.
多好的人儿啊 What nice guys.
百老汇 Broadway.
自从占领波兰以来 吾从未如此开心过 I haven't been so happy since we crushed Poland.
您好 这里是知名戏剧大导 Hello, the living room of renowned theatrical director...
罗杰·迪比斯的上东区华丽公馆 Roger De Bris' elegant upper-east side town house...
风和日丽六月的周二下午 在下向您问好 on a sunny, Tuesday afternoon in June.
请问您是哪位 Who may I say is calling?
听着 你这矫情的老婊砸 Listen, you broken-down old queen...
他喝多了 一时欲火焚身 算你便宜 he was drunk, he was hot, you got lucky.
别再打来了 Don't ever call here again.
- 谁的电话 - 打错了啦 Who was that? Wrong number.
您是~~ Yes?
您好 Well, hi, there.
我是马克思·必亚脱 I am Max Bialystock...
这是我的合伙人布鲁姆先生 and this is my associate Mr. Bloom.
我们约了大导罗杰·帝波瑞先生在此一见 We have an appointment with renowned theatrical director Roger De Bris.
好的 好的 您请进 Yes, yes, please come in. Please.
谢谢 Thank you.Yes.
我是卡门·吉雅 I am Carmen Ghia.
帝波瑞先生的贴身助理 Mr. De Bris' common-law assistant.
他已经恭候二位多时 You are expected.
我帮二位收一下帽子 衣服 还有纳粹臂章好吗 May I take your hat, your coat and your swastikas?
哦哦 好的 Oh, these......
我们刚参加了一个聚会 大家都戴着这玩意 We just came from this big rally. Everybody was wearing them.
你怎么不提醒我还带着这破玩意 Why didn't you tell me we still had those on?
我没注意 不是你说一直前进别看两边吗 I didn't notice them. You told me to look straight ahead...
- 说忘就忘？ - 好好好 咱们别吵架 好吗 you remember that? All right, let's not fight, okay?
哦 罗杰 Oh, Roger...
有人来访哦 we're not alone.
有请罗杰导演 Here's Roger.
老马 他穿着裙子 Max, he's wearing a dress.
还用说 No kidding.
哦 罗杰 好久不见了 Oh, Roger, good to see you again.
二位就是必亚脱和布鲁姆先生吧 Messieurs Bialystock and Bloom, I presume?
原谅人家的冷笑话 Forgive the pun.
- 什么冷笑话？ - 闭嘴 他一向认为自己幽默 What pun? Shut up, he thinks he's witty.
罗杰导演 请允许我说 您今天真是壮哉美哉 雍容华贵 Roger, may I say, you look gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous.
谢谢（法语） [speaking French]
不过 亲爱的小马 我们可喜欢《搞笑男孩》了 对不对 卡门 By the way, Max, darling, we loved Funny Boy, didn't we, Carmen?
哦 简直大爱 Oh, worshipped it.
生存还是毁灭 爱你胜过一切 ♪ To be or not to be you mean a lot to me ♪♪
- 绝世之作 - 精彩极了 Show stopper. Fabulous.
哦 亲爱的 你家小布先生盯着我的华服看个没完呢 Oh, dear, your Mr. Bloom is staring at my gown.
这个 Oh, well, l......
我得解释一下 今晚我要参加舞蹈指导的舞会 I should explain. I'm going to the choreographer's ball this evening.
舞会上有最佳着装奖 There is a prize for best costume.
我们每年都赢 We always win.
今年恐怕不好说 I'm not so sure about this year.
我本来想扮女公爵 I'm supposed to be the Grand Duchess Anastasia.
但我看起来更像克莱斯勒大厦 But I think I look more like the Chrysler Building.
以在下的看法 没有假发的着装 Well, as far as I'm concerned, without your wig on...
基本等于半裸 you're only half-dressed.
你有这工夫 还不去把假发拿来？ Well, then, why don't you go and get it...
西区小恶魔 oh, Wicked Witch of the West?
如果你是想 If your intention was...
伤人家的玻璃心 to shoot an arrow through my heart......
伤透了！ Bull's-eye!
罗杰 面对现实吧 您这一身的确栩栩如生 Oh, Roger, let's face it. That building is you.
听我说 我知道我们今早才寄出剧本 Listen, I know we sent it to you only this morning...
不过您读过《希特勒也有春天》了吗 but, did you get a chance yet to read Springtime for Hitler?
读了吗？我一口气读完了 Read it? I devoured it.
这真是一部杰作 杰作！ And I find it remarkable. Remarkable!
这种历史什么的 I feel it is a very important piece...
真是有趣的很 drenched with historical goodies.
比如我 就从来不知道 所谓第三帝国 I, for one, for instance, never realized that the Third Reich...
原来说的是德国 meant Germany.
既然这样 你会执导吗 Yeah, how about that? Then you'll do it?
执导这个？当然不行 历史剧不是我的菜 Do it? Of course not. It's not my kind of thing.
小马 拜托 二战 太黑暗了 I mean, Max, please, World War ll, too dark...
太消沉了 too depressing.
做戏若消沉 观众也消沉 ♪ The theater's so obsessed with drama so depressed ♪
怎能在百老汇卖出票去 ♪ It's hard to sell a ticket on Broadway ♪
做戏讲究美丽 ♪ Shows should be more pretty ♪
做戏讲究机智 ♪ Shows should be more witty ♪
做戏讲究……什么词来着 ♪ Shows should be more What's the word? ♪
- 基情？ - 正是 Gay? Exactly.
不管舞台上演什么戏份 ♪ No matter what you do on the stage ♪
要光明 要愉快 要充满基情 ♪ Keep it light, keep it bright, keep it gay ♪
不管是谋杀 伤害 还是怒火焚城 ♪ Whether it's murder, mayhem or rage ♪
别怕痛苦 别怕忧伤 ♪ Don't complain, it's a pain ♪
要充满基情 ♪ Keep it gay ♪
大家来看戏不过图个乐子 ♪ People want laughter when they see a show ♪
才不想看到痛苦的诉说 ♪ The last thing they're after is a litany of woe ♪
欢乐的结局 才配得上一场杰作 ♪ A happy ending will pep up your play ♪
俄狄浦斯不必自焚 ♪ Oedipus won't bomb ♪
只需他和母亲结合 ♪ If he winds up with Mom ♪
基情四射 基情四射 ♪ Keep it gay ♪ ♪ Keep it gay ♪
基情四射 ♪ Keep it gay ♪
看来咱们真是志同道合 罗杰 Couldn't agree more and you have our blessings, Roger...
既然要做《希特勒也有春天》 to make Springtime for Hitler just as...
想怎么基情由你们决定 gay as anyone could possibly want.
所以来吧 为我们做一出好戏 So, come on, do it for us, please.
抱歉 小马 可惜这不是我的菜 I'm sorry, Max, it's simply not my cup of tea.
不过 公平起见 Still, fair is fair.
也许我应该征求一下演出班底的意见 Perhaps I should ask my production team what they think.
- 您的班底？都有谁？ - 你们可以一见 他们都住这里 Your production team, who are they? You'll see. They all live here.
伙计们 来跟必亚脱和布鲁姆打个招呼吧 Guys, come say "Hello" to Bialystock and Bloom.
- 我的舞台设计 布莱恩 - 你们好 This is my set designer, Bryan. Hello.
- 要疯狂 要愉悦 要基情四射 ♪ Keep it mad keep it glad, keep it gay ♪
- 我的服装设计 凯文 - 你们好 Here's my costume designer, Kevin. Hello.
要欢乐 要时髦 要基情四射 ♪ Keep it happy keep it snappy, keep it gay ♪
聪慧和创意就是我们的工作 ♪ We're clever, creative it's our job to see ♪
一切都要满足 导演的完美主义 ♪ That everything's perfect for Mr. De Bris ♪
- 斯科特 我的舞蹈指导 - 你们好 Scott, my choreographer. Hi, there.
最后 隆重介绍 And now finally, last and least...
我的灯光设计师 谢莉·马科维兹 my lighting designer, Shirley Markowitz.
只要基情 只要基情 ♪ Keep it gay, keep it gay ♪
只要基情 ♪ Keep it gay ♪
他们都读过剧本了 Now, they all just read Springtime.
你们觉得怎么样 伙计们 What did you think of it, fellows?
- 还需要一点魅力 - 还有光彩 ♪ It needs glamour ♪ ♪ And glitz ♪
- 需要闪光的服装 - 还有大波波 ♪ It needs sequins ♪ ♪ And tits ♪
小李 小李 我觉得有点跑题了 Leo, Leo, I think we're losing them.
你来跟罗杰说说 我看他挺喜欢你的 Go say something nice to Roger. I think he likes you.
- 不过 老马 - 去吧 做戏也需要会演戏 But, Max......Go on, it's just showbiz.
帝波瑞先生？罗杰？ Mr. De Bris? Roger?
罗杰 我想说 您这身华服真是美艳非凡 Roger, actually, I think your gown is very stunning.
哦 谢谢你的赞美 布鲁姆先生 小李 Why, thank you, Mr. Bloom. Leo.
你这用的是什么古龙水啊 What is that enchanting cologne you're wearing?
我？我不用香水 Me? I'm not wearing any cologne.
你是说这就是你自然的体香？ You mean that smell is you?
我的王母娘娘 Oh, God.
要是能把你装进瓶子 If I could bottle you...
我真想每天拿你的味道刮腋毛 I'd shove you under my armpits every day.
老马 老马 我要不行了 Oh, Max. Max, we never should have started this.
我觉得咱们陷得有点深了 I think we're getting in too deep.
这就深了？不算什么 Too deep? This is nothing.
深了我会提醒你的 I'll tell you when we're getting in too deep.
做出好戏 有三条铁律 ♪ And, so, the rule is when mounting a play ♪
要有趣 要阳光 要充满基情 ♪ Keep it funny keep it sunny, keep it gay ♪♪
- 咱们怎么办 -瞧我的 What should we do? Relax. Watch this.
罗杰 Roger...
我觉得 《希特勒也有春天》 I think that Springtime for Hitler...
对你来说是个难得的机会 would be a marvelous opportunity for you.
我是说 到现在为止 你执导过的作品 I mean, up to now, you've always been associated with...
恕我直言 逼格不够 dare I say it, frivolous musicals.
你说得对 You're right.
我也觉得我把我的演艺生涯 I've often felt as though I've been throwing my life away...
献给了低俗的娱乐 on silly entertainments.
艳俗的美女穿着艳俗的衣裳 Dopey showgirls in gooey gowns.
一二三四 二二三四 "Two, three, kick, turn, turn, turn, kick, turn......"
盛宴看多了也会吐 It's enough to make you heave.
尽管如此 抱歉小马 我还是不能做这出戏 Nonetheless, I'm sorry, Max. I just couldn't do Springtime for Hitler.
- 为什么不行 想想好评如潮 - 不行 Why not? Think of the respect. No.
- 想想名声大噪 - 不行不行不行 Think of the prestige. No, no, no.
想想 托尼奖！ Think of the Tony.
托尼奖 托尼奖 托尼奖 ♪ Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony ♪
怎么了 他没事吧 What's the matter? Is he all right?
- 他中风了 - 啥？ He's having a stroke... What?
被灵感冲的！ ...of genius!
我终于看见 ♪ I see it at last ♪
一部大作将为我上演 ♪ The chance to do something important ♪
罗杰·帝波瑞导演 历史大戏巨献 ♪ Roger De Bris presents history ♪
不过第二幕肯定要重写 Of course that whole second act has to be re-written.
他们会输掉战争？别傻了 太悲了 They're losing the war? Excuse me? That's too down beat.
罗杰·帝波瑞导演 历史大戏巨献 ♪ Roger De Bris presents history ♪
不过可能 But maybe......
这想法有点冒险 但或有奇效 It's a wild idea, but it just might work.
我 看见 ♪ I see ♪
一整队 ♪ A line ♪
美人走来 ♪ Of beautiful girls ♪
穿着精锐制服 ♪ Dressed as storm troopers ♪
仿佛璀璨明珠 ♪ Each one a gem ♪
穿着皮靴 甩着皮鞭 ♪ With leather boots and whips on their hips ♪
危险的调教 属于SM圈 ♪ It's risque, dare I say, S and M ♪
我们最爱！ Love it!
我看见 德军士兵拉开扇形舞阵 ♪ I see German soldiers dancing through fans ♪
年轻的士兵小哥 穿着紧身裤齐声高歌 ♪ Played by chorus boys in very tight pants ♪
等等 还有得做 ♪ And wait, there's more ♪
德国要打赢战争 ♪ They win the war ♪
所有的舞姿都要美丽前卫 ♪ And the dances they do will be daring and new ♪
一二三四 二二三四 三三三四四 ♪ Turn, turn, kick, turn, turn, kick turn, one, two, three, kick, turn ♪
要时髦 要上等 要… ♪ Keep it sassy keep it classy, keep it ♪
真是太棒 太棒 太棒了 That is brilliant, brilliant, brilliant.
我和布鲁姆先生认可您 罗杰导演 I speak for Mr. Bloom and myself, Roger...
全世界只有您 when I say that you are the only man in the world...
能带来独一无二的《希特勒也有春天》 who can do justice to Springtime for Hitler.
- 您来执导吧 如何？ - 如何？ Will you do it, please? Please?
等等 此事非同小可 Wait a minute. This is a very big decision.
可能影响我整个的演艺生涯 It might affect the course of my entire life.
我得好好考虑一下 我接下了 I shall have to think about it. I'll do it.
我接下了！ ♪ I'll do it ♪
萨布 香槟！ Sabu, champagne!
如果要观众用欢呼谢幕 ♪ If at the end you want them to cheer ♪
要基情 要基情 要基情四射 ♪ Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay ♪
不管是奥赛罗 李尔王 还是哈姆雷特 ♪ Whether it's Hamlet, Othello or Lear ♪
要基情 要基情 要基情四射 ♪ Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay ♪
喜剧就要开心 要快乐崇拜 ♪ Comedy's joyous, a constant delight ♪
正剧最是讨厌 ♪ Dramas annoy us ♪
会难以释怀 ♪ and ruin our night ♪
所以远离史特林堡和易卜生 ♪ So keep your Strindbergs and lbsens at bay ♪
我要签下大名 ♪ I'll sign ♪
签下大名 ♪ Sign ♪ ♪ Sign ♪
签下大名 ♪ Sign ♪
罗杰·伊丽莎白·帝波瑞 ♪ Roger Elizabeth De Bris ♪
基情四射！ ♪ Keep it gay! ♪
康茄热舞！ Conga!
做出好戏 有三条铁律 ♪ So the rule is when mounting a play ♪
要基情 要基情 要基情四射 ♪ Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay! ♪♪
史上最烂的百老汇剧本 Exclusive Broadway rights to the worst show ever written...
史上最烂的百老汇导演 and a signed contract with the worst director who ever lived.
咱们要发了 We're in business.
大发特发 And what a business.
就在今天 我还体验了纳粹的齐格飞誓言 In the same day, I'm taking the Siegfried Oath...
和警察和裁缝跳了热舞 and dancing the conga, with a cop, a sailor...
还有一位 过分“友好”的印度朋友 and an extremely friendly Cherokee lndian.
哦 好吧 Yeah. Oh, well.
做制作人就是又当爹又当妈 It's not easy being a Broadway producer...
不过你我携手 大事可成 Nope. ...but together we'll make it.
咱们是搭档 小李 黄金搭档 Partners, Leo. Partners all the way...
谁也别想在我们中间横插一杠 and nothing or no one will ever come between us.
什么也不行 谁也不行 老马 Nothing or no one, Max.
请进 Come in.
必亚脱和布鲁姆先生？ Bialystock and Bloom?
（美女说着瑞士语） [speaking Swedish]
什么 What?
哦 抱歉 Oh, excuse me...
（美女又说了瑞士语） [speaking Swedish]
瑞士语 Swedish.
-今天选脚吗？ - 选脚？ Costing today? Costing.
- 选脚？ - 选脚？ Costing? Costing?
- 选角！ - 选角！ Casting. Casting.
还没有还没有 小姐 我们还没开始选角 Oh, no, no, miss, we're not casting yet.
我们还不确定开始时间 You see, we don't even know when we're beginning--
有选角 没错 今天就开始选角！ Casting, yes, we just started casting today.
- 没问题 没问题 - 我们要开始选演员？ Yes, yes. We're casting?
没错 现在就开始选演员 Yes, we're casting.
请你理解我的心情 If you don't mind...
有生之年 我真想看见这沙发坐上一位85岁以下的女人 just once in my life, I'd like to see somebody on that couch who's under 85.
怎么称呼你 亲爱的 What's your name, my dear?
我叫 乌拉·莺歌 My name is Ulla lnga...
韩森·本森·扬森·海伦·司娃森·思沃森 Hansen Benson Yansen Tallen Hallen Svaden Swanson.
等等 不用连名带姓 名就行了 Oh, wait, wait, what's your first name?
刚才就是我的名 That was my first name.
您想听听我的姓吗 You want to hear my last name?
恐怕没那个时间 我们就叫你乌拉好了 We don't have the time. We'll just call you Ulla.
好了 你有什么特长 乌拉 Okay? Yeah. What do you do, Ulla?
- 乌拉会唱会跳 - 哦 是吗 Ulla sing and dance. Oh, yeah?
- 您想让乌拉演一段吗？ - 不必了 小姐 You want Ulla make audition? Oh, no, miss.
- 这个没必要…… - 有必要 That won't be nece-- Yes, it is nece.
非常有必要 Extremely nece.
来试演一段吧 整个办公室都是你的舞台 Please, please make audition. Make audition all over the office.
你要唱什么 What are you going to sing?
昨天 Well, yesterday...
我从一个白白大大 when I was stepping out of a big, white...
劳斯莱斯加长车走出来 Rolls-Royce limo...
一个怪叔叔在窗子里喊了句话 a crazy man yelled something out the window...
有感而发 我写了这首歌 that inspired me to write this song.
你有本钱 ♪ When you got it ♪
就捧出来 ♪ Flaunt it ♪
昂首阔步 大胆表现 ♪ Step right up and strut your stuff ♪
人人都说 谦虚是美德 ♪ People tell you modesty's a virtue ♪
但做演员 谦虚会受伤 ♪ But in the theater modesty can hurt you ♪
你有本钱 ♪ When you got it ♪
就捧出来 ♪ Flaunt it ♪
用你的料捧出你的自豪 ♪ Show your assets let them know you're proud ♪
想成名就要趁早 ♪ Your goodies you must push ♪
要挺起胸 扭动纤腰 ♪ Stick your chest out, shake your tush ♪
既然有本钱 就唱个漂亮 ♪ When you got it, shout it out loud ♪
现在乌拉跳舞 Now Ulla dance.
你有本钱 就秀出来 ♪ When you got it, show it ♪
拿出你压箱底的宝贝 ♪ Put your hidden treasures on display ♪
乐师最喜欢四平八稳 ♪ Violinists love to play an E-string ♪
观众最爱是性感女神 ♪ But audiences really love a g-string ♪
你有本钱 就喊出来 ♪ When you got it, shout it ♪
让全世界知道你魅力几何 ♪ Let the whole world hear what you're about ♪
男人靠的是衣衫 ♪ Clothes may make the man ♪
女孩靠的是颜值 ♪ All a girl needs is a tan ♪
你有本钱 就得抓紧卖出来 ♪ When you got it, let it hang out ♪
喜欢乌拉跳舞吗 Remember when Ulla dance?
喜欢 Yeah.
乌拉再跳舞 Ulla dance again.
乌拉又跳舞 Ulla dance again.
当我还是一个瑞典小女孩 ♪ When I was just a little girl in Sweden ♪
我体贴的妈妈教我做人 ♪ My thoughtful mother gave me this advice ♪
如果老天给你一身好皮囊 ♪ If nature blesses you from top to bottom ♪
不必多想 让自己秀个闪亮 ♪ Show that top to bottom Don't think twice ♪
现在乌拉上高音 Now Ulla belt.
不必多想 ♪ Don't think twice ♪
你有本钱 就要分享 ♪ When you got it, share it ♪
让世界大饱眼福 ♪ Let the public feast upon your charms ♪
人人都说 低调是美德 ♪ People say that being prim is proper ♪
但做演员 低调会坏了事 ♪ But every showgirl knows that prim will stop her ♪
你有本钱 就要拿出来 ♪ When you got it, give it ♪
不必自私 秀个痛快 ♪ Don't be selfish, give it all away ♪
不要害羞 大胆又俏丽 ♪ Don't be shy, be bold and cute ♪
让男生倾倒在你的生日新衣 ♪ Show the boys your birthday suit ♪
你有本钱 ♪ When you got it ♪
如果有本钱 ♪ If you got it ♪
只要有本钱 ♪ Once you got it ♪
就大声喊出来！ ♪ Shout out ♪
哦耶 ♪ Hooray ♪♪
就是酱紫 您喜欢吗 Okey dokey, you like it?
喜欢吗？ Like it?
不瞒你说 亲爱的 I want you to know, my dear...
别看我们人坐在这 that even though we're sitting down...
实际上我们已经为你“起立致敬” we are giving you a standing ovation.
她可以演出了 She's in the show.
等等 老马 我们还不知道 Wait, Max. Max, we don't even know...
有没有她的角色呢 if there's a part for her in the show.
稍等一下好吗 亲爱的 Would you excuse us, my dear?
你这木头 小布 Nonsense, Bloom.
小布 有些事还用我教吗？ Bloom, do I have to teach you everything?
制作人的女朋友必然会有角色啊 There is always a part in the show for the producer's girlfriend.
可是 老马 我们还不知道什么时候开始排练呢 But, Max, we don't even know when we're starting rehearsal, yet.
那又怎样 那又怎样 So what? So what?
我们是制作人对不对 We're producers, aren't we?
演出之前 她可以给我们干活啊 So, until she goes into the show, she can work for us here.
因为我们是需要 我们得配一位 Because, we need, nay, deserve to have ourselves......
需要配一位 Deserve to have ourselves...
一位能干的瑞士全能秘书接待员 a gorgeous Swedish secretarylreceptionist.
不过 老马 一个不会说英语的秘书吗 But, Max, a secretary who doesn't speak English?
- 别人会怎么说 - 他们会说 What will people say? They'll say......
嗷嗷嗷你好吊 [speaking gibberish]
让她上班吧 拜托了 Offer her the job, please.
稍等小姐 Just a moment, miss.
我们可能有个事你可以干 We might have a position for you.
实际上 我们有很多事你可以干 As a matter of fact, we might have several positions for you.
我们的戏上演之前 我们可以给你一份工作 Until the show gets going, we can offer you a job here...
做我们的全能助理 as a secretarylreceptionist.
全能助理？ Secretarylreceptionist?
棒棒的 Okey-slash-dokey.
交给我吧 I can do that.
接电话 Answer telephone.
老马小布办公室 Bialystock and Bloom.
- 老马小布办公室 - 聪明死了 Bialystock and Bloom. Smart as a whip.
你被录取了 You're hired!
好吧 既然他这么说 我也没…… Well, all right. If he says so, I don't have any......
全能秘书 还有 Secretarylreceptionist and...
是否能够给这里清洁一番 maybe you can tidy up around here a little bit, too.
清洁一番 清洁一番 这个说法真有趣 Tidy up? Tidy up. Such a funny word.
- 什么叫“清洁一番” - 就是 弄干净 What means "tidy up?" Oh, you know, clean?
弄漂亮些 Make look nice.
明白了 乌拉可以“清洁一番” Oh, yeah! Ulla can make "tidy up."
好极了 你明早什么时候上班 Oh, very good. What time can you be here in the morning?
那么 乌拉每天早上五点起床 Well, Ulla wake up every morning, 5:00 a.m.
五点到七点 乌拉要锻炼 From 5:00 to 7:00 Ulla like to exercise.
七点到八点 乌拉要洗一个长长的澡 From 7:00 to 8:00 Ulla like to take a long shower.
八点到九点 乌拉要吃一顿丰盛的瑞士早餐 From 8:00 to 9:00, Ulla like to have big Swedish breakfast.
各种熏鱼吃个饱 Many different herrings.
九点到十一点 From 9:00 to 11:00...
乌拉要练习唱歌跳舞 Ulla like to practice her singing and her dancing.
十一点 乌拉要做爱 And at 11:00, Ulla like to have sex.
我几点来呢 What time should I get here?
- 十一点！ - 好！乌拉十一点来 11:00. Good! Ulla will come at 11:00.
乌拉十一点来 "Ulla will come at 11:00."
（瑞士语） [speaking Swedish]
（瑞士语） [both speaking Swedish]
上帝保佑美国 God bless America.
上帝保佑瑞典 God bless Sweden.
老马 Oh, Max.
老马 她太棒了 Max, she's fantastic.
她是我见过最美的女孩 The most beautiful girl I've ever seen.
我从未有过这种感觉 I've never felt this way before.
像火山在心中喷发 It's like a volcano erupting inside of me, like...
像岩浆越喷越高 越喷越高 like hot lava rising higher and higher and......
这叫什么 老马 这叫什么？ What is that, Max? What is it?
这叫一柱擎天 It's called an erection.
要不然你就是岔气 It's either that or malaria.
不过没关系 这年月只要打针什么都能治好 But don't worry, they have shots for everything now.
来 我给你看一样东西 Come here, I want to show you something.
- 看见什么了 - 空空如也 What do you see? Nothing.
没错 Exactly.
但是我们已经拿到必砸的烂剧 But now that we've got our sure-fire flop...
我们接下来的任务就是要确保二百万 it's gonna be our job to fill that safe with $2 million.
二百万？那我们自己投多少 $2 million? Gee, how much do we put in?
我们… How much......
我们自己投多少？ How much do we put in?
小布 Bloom...
百老汇的两大铁律 the two cardinal rules of being a Broadway producer...
第一 are, one...
排戏别投自己的钱 never put your own money in the show.
第二呢 And two?
排戏别投！ Never put your own money...
自己的钱！ in the show!
- 明白了吗 - 明白了 Get it? Got it.
好的 Good.
- 那咱们如何筹钱呢 - 如何筹钱 那就看我的了 So how do we raise the money? How? I'll tell you how.
去找我的投资人 From my investors.
成百上千的老太太 都在看着我必亚利呢 Hundreds of little old ladies all looking to Max Bialystock...
我就是她们入土为安前 最后的愉♂悦 for one last thrill on their way to the cemetery.
行了小布 排练开始之前估计你见不到我了 So, in the days to come, Bloom, you shall see very little of me.
现在 你可以走得远远的了 And right now I'd like to see very little of you.
走吧 我自己搞定 Scram, while I get myself ready.
我马必脱 就要把自己发射到 For Max Bialystock, is about to launch himself...
小老太主题乐园去了 into Little-old-lady Land.
吉时已到 ♪ The time has come ♪
变身来自异国的大情人 ♪ To be a lover from the Argentine ♪
梳梳我闪亮整齐的秀发 ♪ To slick my hair down with brilliantine ♪
喝一杯我祖传壮阳的 好汉酒 ♪ and gargle heavily with Listerine ♪
哇嗷 Wow!
老马的吉时已到 ♪ It's time for Max ♪
把金主们的本钱凑个整齐 ♪ to put his backers on their backs ♪
施展浑身解数 给她们无穷刺激 ♪ and thrill them with amazing acts ♪
给老色鬼们送一份大礼 ♪ Those aging nymphomaniacs ♪
没人关心 没人疼惜 ♪ They were helpless, they were hopeless ♪
身边来了必亚利 ♪ Then along came Bialy ♪
缺点快乐 缺点男人 ♪ They were joyless, they were boyless ♪
身边来了必亚利 ♪ Then along came Bialy ♪
她们是我的天使 我是她们的恶魔 ♪ They're my angels, I'm their devil ♪
是我让灰烬重燃了余火 ♪ And I keep those embers aglow ♪
我取悦她们 将她们尽在掌握 ♪ When I woos 'em, I can't lose 'em ♪
当我念起咒语 她们会大喊 “下面起了火”！ ♪ 'cause I cast my spell and they start yelling, "Fire down below" ♪
浪漫做武器 她们狂乱不已 ♪ So romantic, they were frantic ♪
多年的祈祷有了结果 ♪ Then their prayers were heard up above ♪
上苍给他们送来了 全能的必亚利 ♪ Heaven sent them their Bialy ♪
而我就是爱神本尊 ♪ I'm the celebration of love ♪
是谁 是谁 ♪ Who is it? Who is it? ♪♪
是我 马必脱 It's Max Bialystock!
小马！ Maxy.
下面起了火！ Fire down below!
曾经困顿无聊 曾经失落心焦 ♪ We were listing, we were sinking ♪
必亚利及时出现了 ♪ Then along came Bialy ♪
曾经绝望透顶 曾经夜夜买醉 ♪ We were desperate, we were drinking ♪
必亚利及时出现了 ♪ Then along came Bialy ♪
还不叫爸爸 Who's your daddy?
他的浪漫武器 让我们狂乱不已 ♪ So romantic, we were frantic ♪
多年的祈祷有了结果 ♪ Then our prayers were heard up above ♪
他是必亚利 就是必亚利 ♪ He's Bialy, hey, Bialy ♪
他是高潮领主 治愈暖男 ♪ He's the culmination The restoration ♪
爱抚大师 黄金手指 ♪ The consummation The titillation ♪
高射炮手 ♪ Ejaculation ♪
他就是爱神本尊 ♪ He's a celebration of love ♪♪
小布 小布 Bloom! Bloom!
怎么样 老马 怎么样 What, Max? What?
我搞定了 我搞定了 我筹到二百万了！ I've done it. I've done it. I've raised the $2 million!
现在我们来把这部大烂戏搞起来 摔个粉碎 Now all we have to do is put on the biggest flop in history.
好极了 That's great!
绝不失败！ We can't miss.
老马小布全新制作 新纳粹音乐剧 希特勒也有春天
下一笔钱三点得到账 Gotta make the next payment on the theater by 3:00 or else--
哦抱歉 走错门了 Oh! Sorry, wrong office.
必亚脱 布鲁姆 Bialystock, Bloom.
小马 小李 Max, Leo.
- 乌拉？ - 是呀 Ulla? Ja.
- 办公室出什么事了 - 如你们二位吩咐乌拉的 What happened to the office? Like you tell Ulla...
- 清理了一番 - 这就是清理一番？ "tidy up." "Tidy oop?"
是呢 Well.
你哪来的时间干这么大工程？ How did you find the time to do all this?
我没吃午饭 I skip lunch.
果然 Of course you did.
真厉害 她没吃午饭 Very nice. She skipped lunch.
很好 Oh. Yeah.
差不多三笔 这笔给舒伯特剧院的 Almost three. That payment to the Shubert's.
我拿保险箱的现金去 I'll get the cash from the safe.
你检查下咱们的合同都签没签好 You make sure all those contracts are signed.
好的 老马 Yes, Max.
她连号码都给漆白了 Oh, she painted over the numbers.
（瑞士语的热情问候） [speaking Swedish]
（自以为说着瑞士语的小布） [speaking Swedish]
你们好 小伙子们 Hello, boys.
没人知道我费了多少精力 才把你们带回来 Nobody knows what I went through to get you.
乌拉知道 Ulla knows.
你把精力付给了全纽约的老太太 You had to schtup every little old lady in New York.
说得对 That's right.
我身上的假牙印 就是战斗的勋章 And I've still got the denture bites to prove it.
干活 干活 干活 Work, work, work. Work, work, work.
干活 干活 干活 Work, work, work.
那么 So...
小布先生 Mr. Bloom.
只剩你和我了 We are all alone.
是啊 是吧 Yes we are. Aren't we?
小布为什么离乌拉这么远 Why Bloom go so far camera right?
小布不喜欢乌拉？ Bloom no like Ulla?
乌拉喜欢小布 Ulla like Bloom.
小布也喜欢乌拉 Oh, Bloom like Ulla, all right.
- 也许喜欢过头了 - 真好 Maybe a little too much. Good.
我很开心 I'm glad.
- 为什么小布需要蓝布头？ - 哦 这个不重要 Why Bloom need blue blanket? Oh, it's not important.
我有轻度的强迫症 这个…… It's just a minor compulsion. It's that I've...
从我还是孩子时候就带着这个 我… I've had it ever since I was a baby and I......
你离得有点太近了 You're a little too close.
亲密的冲动 会把理智夺走 ♪ The urge to merge can rob us of our senses ♪
繁衍生息的需求 会把男人变成野兽 ♪ The need to breed can make a man a drone ♪
我要努力守住心灵的城墙 ♪ We must be on alert with our defenses ♪
因为春光让人难免 ♪ For every skirt will test ♪
下半身思索 ♪ testosterone ♪
正因如此 我锁住自己的欲求 ♪ So knowing this I severed all connection ♪
远离穿着丝绸与蕾丝的生灵 ♪ with any creature sporting silk or lace ♪
我坚定地在正人君子的路上行走 ♪ I was firmly headed in the right direction ♪
突然 我因她而倾倒 ♪ when suddenly I stumbled on ♪
因为那张脸 ♪ that face ♪
那张脸 那张脸 那张危险的容颜 ♪ That face, that face, that dangerous face ♪
我不能失去理智 ♪ I mustn't be unwise ♪
那双唇 那鼻梁 那碧眼 ♪ Those lips, that nose, those eyes ♪
已将我推向深渊 ♪ could lead to my demise ♪
那张脸 那张脸 那神奇的容颜 ♪ That face, that face, that marvelous face ♪
我不能把后路切断 ♪ I never should begin ♪
那脸颊 那脖颈 那下颌 ♪ Those cheeks, that neck, that chin ♪
已要定了我的小命 ♪ will surely do me in ♪
若她接近 我要放点聪明 隐藏真心 ♪ I must be smart and hide my heart if she's within a mile ♪
如果我放弃抵抗 那就运气不妙 ♪ If I don't duck, I'm out of luck ♪
她的笑容随时将我干掉 ♪ She'd kill me with her smile ♪
那张脸 那张脸 那奇妙的容颜 ♪ That face, that face, that fabulous face ♪
毫无疑问 我要小心 ♪ It's clear I must beware ♪
我很明白 若是陷入爱河 我会不知所措 ♪ I'm certain if I fall in love I'm lost without a trace ♪
但为这容颜 一切都值得 ♪ but it's worth it for that face ♪
啊哦 小布能帮乌拉下来吗 Oh-oh, Bloom help Ulla down?
好的 小布帮乌拉下来 All right, Bloom help Ulla down.
那张脸 那张脸 ♪ That face, that face ♪
那可爱的容颜 ♪ that lovable face ♪
已融化我 ♪ It melts my ♪
来自瑞典的冰心 ♪ Swedish heart ♪
我很明白 若是陷入爱河 ♪ I'm certain if I fall in love ♪
我会不知所措 ♪ I'm lost without a trace ♪
但这都值得 ♪ But it's worth it ♪
为这 ♪ for that ♪
容颜 ♪ face ♪♪
再来一遍！ Again!
打开 准备 旋转 旋转 Arabesque, prepare, pirouette and twirl...
正步 正步 华尔兹步 踢踏 再来 and goose step, goose step waltz-clog and kick. Again!
打开 准备 旋转 旋转 Arabesque, prepare, pirouette and twirl...
正步 正步 华尔兹步 踢踏 再来！ and goose step, goose step waltz-clog and kick. Again!
打开 准备 旋转 Arabesque, prepare, pirouette......
停下！停下！ Halt! Halt!
停下！！ Halt!
太乱了 太乱了 This is bedlam, bedlam. Bedlam. Bedlam.
闭嘴！ Shut up!
咱们得立点规矩 We must have some order here.
请所有的舞者希特勒到舞台右边候场 Will all the dancing Hitlers please wait offstage right...
所有歌手希特勒请到左边候场 and all the singing Hitlers offstage left?
给我那边去 Get that way.
卡门 麻烦请一位歌手希特勒上来 Carmen, call in a singing Hitler please.
好 亲爱的 罗杰 Yes, darling. Roger.
雅克·拉匹杜 Jack Lapidus!
杰克·拉皮条 Jack Lapidus.
杰克 你给大家唱点什么 Well, Jack. What are you going to sing for us?
我为大家演唱一曲 《吟游诗人之歌》 I would like to sing A Wandering Minstrel l.
如你所愿 If you must.
我是吟游诗人 ♪ A Wandering Minstrel, I ♪
- 一点灵感来自 - 行了多谢！ ♪ a thing of shred and ♪ Thank you!
- 聪明绝顶 - 下一位 拜托！ ♪ patches ♪ Next, please!
唐纳德·丁斯陌 有请 Donald Dinsmore! Thanks.
唐纳德 我们…… Well, Donald, if we......
唐纳德 我…… Well, Donald, l--
- 哦 你好 - 行了 唐纳德 Oh, hi, how are you? Oh, no, that's all right, Donald.
你好 你给大家唱点什么 老兄 Hello. Yes, now what are you going to sing for us, friend?
我要唱一首 《木偶小男生》 I'd like to sing The Little Wooden Boy.
谢谢 Thank you.
下一位 Next!
杰森·格林 Jason Green.
杰森 能简单介绍一下你的演出经历吗 Well, Jason, what have you been up to lately?
过去十六年来 我一直在巡演大戏《我不是尼采》 For the last 16 years I have been touring in No No Nietzsche.
- 你演尼采 - 我不是 You played Nietzsche? No, no.
给大家唱点什么？ What are you going to sing for us?
你可听过德国乐团 Have you ever heard The German Band?
没听过 No.
我说的是歌名 我要演唱的歌名 That is the name of the song I am going to sing.
哦~~ Oh.
请演奏 Play it, please.
来点速度 Speed it up.
您可听过 ♪ Haben sie gehort ♪
德国乐团的演奏 ♪ das Deutsche Band ♪
乒一声 乓一声 ♪ Mit a bang Mit a boom ♪
乒乓最自如 ♪ Mit a bing-bang bing-bang boom ♪
啊 您可听过 ♪ Ahhh, haben sie gehort ♪♪
停下！停下！ Halt! Halt!
住口！不对 不对 不对 Halt! No, no, no.
此等浑人决不可扮演阿道夫·希特勒 This man could never play Adolf Hitler.
元首绝不是乳臭未乾的娘炮小孩 The Fuhrer wasn't a mousy little mama's boy.
元首乃是屠夫 The Fuhrer was butch.
岂能这样演唱《你可听过德国乐团》 And that is not how you sing Haben sie gehort das Deutsche Band.
吾来告诉你如何演唱《你可听过德国乐团》 This is how you singHaben sie gehort das Deutsche Band.
B大调 二二拍 中速起 奏起来！ B-flat. 2l2 time. Modulate at the bridge. Raus!
您可听过 德国乐团的演奏 ♪ Haben sie gehort das Deutsche Band ♪
乒一声 乓一声 ♪ Mit a bang Mit a boom ♪
乒乓最自如 ♪ Mit a bing-bang bing-bang boom ♪
您可听过 德国乐团的演奏 ♪ Ahhh, haben sie gehort das Deutsche Band ♪
乒一声 乓一声 ♪ Mit a bang Mit a boom ♪
乒乓最自如 ♪ Mit a bing-bang bing-bang boom ♪
不管俄罗斯民歌还是法国民歌 ♪ Russian folksongs und French ooh-la-la ♪
怎么比得上我大德意志节奏天国 ♪ Can't compare with a German oom-pah-pah! ♪
如假包换 德国乐团的演奏 ♪ We're saying Haben sie gehort das Deutsche Band ♪
充满活力 充满乐趣 充满生命~ ♪ Mit a zetz, mit a zap, mit a zing ♪
波兰的波尔卡 愚蠢又腐败！ ♪ Polish polkas, they're stupid und they're rotten ♪
如果没有德国就是一文不值 ♪ It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that ♪
不是~针对~哪国~音乐 只是~在座的~都是 ♪ Schweigen-reigen-schanden- schutzen-schmutzen ♪
都是垃圾 ♪ sauerbraten ♪
升调！ Key change!
如假包换 ♪ We're saying ♪
节奏天国的德国乐团 ♪ Haben sie gehort das Deutsche Band ♪
充满活力 充满乐趣 充满生命~ ♪ Mit a zetz, mit a zap, mit a zing ♪
这是我们心中唯一的旋律 ♪ It's the only kind of music ♪
我们甜蜜亲切的心灵之歌 ♪ That we Huns und our honeys love to sing ♪
希特勒就是你了！ That's our Hitler!
开始检票 开始检票 Have your tickets ready. Have your tickets ready.
这边请 这边请 Right this way, please. This way, please.
请按号就坐 Take your seats.
晚上好先生 很高兴再次相见 Ah, good evening Monsieur. Very nice to see you again.
- 希望您看的开心 - 谢谢 Enjoy the show. Thank you.
哦 布鲁姆先生 你今天可真帅 Oh, Mr. Bloom! Oh, you look so handsome.
- 谢谢 - 真是激动 Oh, thank you. This is so exciting.
小李 Leo!
小李 Leo.
- 谁允许你戴这个帽子了 - 没人允许 老马 Who said you could wear that hat? Well, nobody, Max...
不过好歹我也算个有作品的制片人了 but I thought now that I'm the producer of a Broadway show--
- 首演开幕了么 - 还没 Has the curtain gone up yet? No.
- 首演落幕了么 - 还没 Has the curtain come down yet? No.
那算什么有作品 帽子给我 Then you're not a producer yet. Give me that hat.
布鲁姆先生 小李 Mr. Bloom! Leo.
- 你领带有点崴了 - 崴了？ Your tie is all askew. Askew?
谢谢 乌拉 好好表现 Well, thank you, Ulla. Have a good show.
让观众们疯狂一番吧 Roll them in the aisles.
好哒 我尽力而为 Okey-dokey. I will try to.
但是他们好多人哦 But there's just so many of them.
我还以为咱们兄弟俩 有你的必有我一份 Gee, I thought we were partners sharing everything fifty-fifty.
现在我成了电灯泡 你们俩练起眉来眼去剑 Now, I'm out in the cold and you two are busy askewing each other.
才没有 老马 Askewing? Never, Max.
抱抱亲亲而已 别的可没有 Hugs and kisses, yes, but that's as far as I go.
冈瑟 一落幕就来后台接我 Gunter, you will pick me up back here right after the curtain.
- 明白吗？ - 得令 长官！ [shouting in German]
天啊 他们是会爱死我们 还是会恨死我们 Oh, God, will they love us, will they hate us?
- 简直不敢想象 - 我懂 The suspense is killing me. I know.
感觉就像临产猜男女 I feel like I'm going into labor.
老马先生 小布先生 Messieurs Bialystock and Bloom.
先生们好 Well, gentlemen, merde.
晚上好（德语） [speaking in German]
我只想祝大家今晚好运 And I just wanna wish everybody good luck.
- 什么 你说什么？ - 咬舌自尽去吧 What? What did you say? Bite your tongue.
- 上帝保佑 - 我说错了吗 Gott im Himmel! Oh, what's the matter...
- 我只是祝大家好运 - 他又说了 all I said was good luck. He said it again.
布鲁姆先生 难道没人告诉你 Mr. Bloom, hasn't anyone ever told you...
开幕之夜最晦气的就是说 “祝你好运” 吗 it's bad luck to say, "good luck" on opening night?
年轻人不懂 我就教教你 ♪ If you do, I tell you ♪
这是咱们业内公认的老规矩 ♪ It is certain by the curtain You are through ♪
祝好运！ Good luck!
开幕之夜说好运 你的戏要走霉运 ♪ It's bad luck to say "Good luck" on opening night ♪
一旦张口 必栽跟头 ♪ Once it's said, you are dead ♪
剧评人会骂得你无路可走 ♪ You will get the worst reviews you ever read ♪
祝好运！ Good luck!
就算是法国的喜剧剧场 ♪ Even at the Comedie Franaise ♪
首演之夜也要提心吊胆 ♪ On the opening night they are scared ♪
“祝你好运” 是绝对的禁语 ♪ "Bonne chance, mes amis, "no one says ♪
所谓祝福你只会听到 ♪ The only word you'll ever hear is ♪
“超烂” ♪ Merde ♪
好运 好运 好运！ Good luck, good luck, good luck!
首演之夜祝福好运 绝对禁止 ♪ It's verboten, wishing luck on opening night ♪
听吾辈教训 不必一再犹豫 ♪ Take advice, don't think twice ♪
否则好戏倒霉 一败涂地 ♪ Or your show will surely end up in the scheiss ♪
在意大利米兰的斯卡拉剧院 ♪ At the famous La Scala in Milan ♪
首演之夜 这是条铁律 ♪ On opening night it's a rule ♪
他们热情祝福 “羊入狼口” ♪ "ln bocca lupo" they say with elan ♪
要祝好运他们会嚷 “去死吧” ♪ And just for luck they all shout "Vafangu" ♪
我已明白 开幕之夜 绝对不能“祝好运” ♪ I got it. Now I'll never say "good luck" on opening night ♪
学无止境 这是规矩 ♪ That's the rule, I'm no fool ♪
那要请问 我该说什么 ♪ What do I say, I beg? ♪
你该说 “跌断腿” ♪ What you say is "break a leg" ♪
- 跌断腿？ - 没错 跌断腿！ Break a leg? Yes, break a leg!
若你聪明 ♪ If you're clever ♪
祝好运 Good luck!
就加把劲 ♪ You'll endeavor ♪
绝对 绝对 绝对 绝对禁止 ♪ To never, never, never, never ever, ever, ever say ♪
开幕之夜别乱说 ♪ on opening night ♪♪
五分钟后开演 五分钟后开演 Five minutes to curtain. Curtain going up in five minutes.
烤他个兔兔的 吾要晚了 吾速速上场去 Hasenpfeffer. I'm late. I must run.
跌断腿！ Break a leg!
简直惨！ Kaiser!
弗兰兹 怎么了？ Franz, what happened?
吾跌断了腿！ I broke my leg.
那咱们只能停演 Now we'll have to cancel the show...
给大家退票钱 and give everyone their money back.
退票钱？退票钱？退票钱？ Money back? Money back? Money back?
别再说这个了 Don't ever say that again.
退钱！没门！我们得想点别的对策 Money back! Never. We got to think of something else.
但是弗兰兹演希特勒啊 老马 后备演员都没有 But Franz plays Hitler, Max, and he has no understudy.
没错 我们怎么办 总该有点办法 You're right. What are we gonna do? There must be some way out.
我好好想想 好好想想 If I could only think of something. Some way, some......
等等 我想到了 罗杰 你来演希特勒 Hold it. I got it. Roger, you, you could play Hitler.
所有台词你倒背如流 You know every line in the show.
我在排练时见识过了 I've seen you at rehearsal...
演员表演时你总在跟着演 always moving your lips along with the actors.
这是人家一个不良习惯 I know. It's an embarrassing habit I'm trying to break myself of it.
可是我演希特勒 不行 今晚绝对不行 But me play Hitler, no! No, there's no way I could go on tonight.
我没信心 我没勇气 I don't have the strength, I don't have the courage.
我做不到 我做不到 我做不到 I can't do it! I can't do it! I can't do it!
- 哇哦 把人家弄疼了 - 罗杰 听我说 Wow, that hurt. Roger, listen to me.
你能做到 You can do it.
你知道自己能做到 我也知道你能做到 You know you can do it and I know you can do it.
这是你等了一生的机会 You've been waiting all your lifetime for this chance...
我绝不能让你失掉它 and I'm not gonna let you pass it up.
你将华丽登场 You're going out there...
一位癫狂过火的尖叫女王 a silly hysterical screaming queen...
但当舞台落幕 你将荣归 but you're coming back a great big...
成为百老汇的实力巨星 passing-for-straight, Broadway star.
好 说得对 我演 All right. You're right. I'll do it.
我主保佑 我演！我要去上妆了 By God, I'll do it! I've got to get into makeup.
快 把弗兰兹的希特勒小胡子准备好 Quick, get Franz's Hitler moustache.
还有 把我的幸运女王痣拿来 And, oh, my lucky Gloria Swanson mole.
早准备好了 Got it!
小李 序曲奏响了 咱们走 Leo, the overture. Let's go!
- 老马 - 怎么了 Max. What?
终于来了！ This is it!
- 祝你好运 小李 - 祝你好运 老马 Good luck, Leo. Good luck, Max.
德意志麻烦缠身 真是一曲悲歌 ♪ Germany was having trouble What a sad, sad story ♪
期盼一名领袖 恢复旧日荣光 ♪ Needed a new leader to restore its former glory ♪
他在哪里啊 他在哪里 ♪ Where, oh, where was he? ♪
大人物他在哪里 ♪ Where could that man be? ♪
我们四处张望 终于将他找到 ♪ We looked around and then we found ♪
他将改变你我的生命 ♪ The man for you and me ♪
当下 ♪ And now ♪
正是 ♪ it's ♪
希特勒和德意志的春天 ♪ Springtime for Hitler and Germany ♪
德意志欢乐又基情 ♪ Deutschland is happy and gay ♪
看我军节奏 快如闪电 ♪ We're marching to a faster pace ♪
小心了诸位 这是种族的竞赛 ♪ Look out, here comes the master race ♪
希特勒和德意志也有春天 ♪ Springtime for Hitler and Germany ♪
莱茵河将重归我军的荣光 ♪ Rhineland's a fine land once more ♪
希特勒和德意志也有春天 ♪ Springtime for Hitler and Germany ♪
小心了 欧洲 ♪ Watch out, Europe ♪
我军的巡演开始了 ♪ We're going on tour ♪
希特勒和德意志也有春天 ♪ Springtime for Hitler and Germany ♪
正是春天 ♪ Look, it's springtime ♪
是法兰西和波兰的冬天 ♪ Winter for Poland and France ♪
希特勒和德意志也有春天 ♪ Springtime for Hitler and Germany ♪
春天 春天 春天 春天 ♪ Springtime! Springtime! Springtime! Springtime! ♪
春天 春天 春天 ♪ Springtime! Springtime! Springtime! ♪
来吧 德军 ♪ Come on, Germans ♪
欢乐跳起来 ♪ Go into your dance ♪
我出生在杜塞多夫 人们叫我小罗夫 ♪ I was born in Dusseldorf and that is why they call me Rolf ♪
脑筋要活眼灵光 快来加入纳粹党 ♪ Don't be stupid, be a smarty Come and join the Nazi party ♪
简直三俗 品位低下 Well, I never. Talk about bad taste.
还不快走 小心被观众生吞活剥 Come on, let's get out of here before they kill us.
元首来了 元首来了 ♪ The Fuhrer is coming The Fuhrer is coming ♪
元首来了 ♪ The Fuhrer is coming ♪
万岁 希特勒！ 万岁 希特勒！ ♪ Heil Hitler! ♪ ♪ Heil Hitler! ♪
万岁 希特勒！ ♪ Heil Hitler! ♪
希特勒和德意志也有春天 ♪ Springtime for Hitler and Germany ♪
万岁 希特勒！ ♪ Heil Hitler! ♪
万岁 我自己 ♪ Heil myself ♪
向自己致敬 ♪ Heil to me ♪
改变历史的德国佬 就是我自己 ♪ I'm the kraut who's out to change our history ♪
万岁 我自己 举手致敬 ♪ Heil myself, raise your hand ♪
最强的独裁者 就是我自己 ♪ There's no greater dictator in the land ♪
我做的一切 都是为你服务 ♪ Everything I do, I do for you ♪
想要战争 我给你来个二次世界战争 ♪ If you're looking for a war here's World War ll ♪
万岁 我自己 举起啤酒杯致敬 ♪ Heil myself, raise your beer ♪
颜值爆棚的纳粹部队立正致敬 ♪ Every hotsy-totsy Nazi stand and cheer ♪
- 颜值爆棚的纳粹部队 - 万岁 我自己 ♪ Every hotsy-totsy Nazi ♪ ♪ Heil myself ♪
立正致敬 ♪ Stand and cheer ♪
万岁 我自己 ♪ Heil myself ♪
我曾经只是个小公务员 ♪ I was just a paper hanger ♪
生活无趣又郁闷 ♪ No one more obscurer ♪
突然收到国会电话 ♪ Got a phone call from the Reichstag ♪
说我成了元首 德意志在受苦 ♪ Told me I was Fuhrer, Germany was bluer ♪
我 我该怎么做 ♪ What, oh, what to do? ♪
我提起裤子 ♪ Hitched up my pants ♪
征服法兰西 ♪ and conquered France ♪
德意志又笑容满布 ♪ Now Deutschland's smiling through ♪
无论政治还是历史 其实没什么神秘 ♪ It ain't no mystery if it's politics or history ♪
所谓秘诀请牢记 ♪ The thing you gotta know is ♪
一切不过是做戏 ♪ Everything is showbiz ♪
万岁 我自己 ♪ Heil myself ♪
来看我的戏 ♪ Watch my show ♪
我可是德国的大明星 你可认识？ ♪ I'm the German Ethel Merman don't you know? ♪
我军征战四方 新世界就在眼前 ♪ We are crossing borders, the new world order is here ♪
来个大大的微笑 ♪ Make a real big smile ♪
万岁山呼海啸 ♪ Everyone, sing heil to me ♪
最棒的就是我 ♪ Wonderful me ♪
当下 正是 希特勒和德意志的春天 ♪ It now is springtime For Hitler and Germany ♪
正步走 是气壮山河的新步伐 ♪ Goose step's the new step today ♪
轰炸机荡起滚滚春潮 ♪ Bombs falling from the skies again ♪
德意志迎来荣光再现 ♪ Deutschland is on the rise again ♪
希特勒和德意志也有春天 ♪ Springtime for Hitler and Germany ♪
U型潜艇又将征服大洋 ♪ U-boats are sailing once more ♪
希特勒和德意志也有春天 ♪ Springtime for Hitler and Germany ♪
这将是美好的未来 ♪ Means that soon we'll be going ♪
将是美好的未来 ♪ We've got to be going ♪
将是美好的未来 将是美好的未来 ♪ You know we'll be going You bet we'll be going ♪
将是美好的未来 ♪ You know we'll be going ♪
美好的战争未来 ♪ to war! ♪
（热烈祝贺！卖座大戏！）
- “辛辣的讽刺杰作” - 完蛋了 "A satiric masterpiece." No way out.
- “轰动大作” - 完蛋了 "Surprise smash." No way out.
“惊人的、粗暴的、伤人的神经戏剧” "lt was shocking, outrageous, insulting...
- “但是每一分钟都是我的至爱” - 完蛋了！ "and I loved every minute of it." No way out!
怎么会这样？ How could this happen?
我们选了最烂的剧本 We picked the wrong play...
最烂的导演 最烂的班底 the wrong director, the wrong cast......
到底是哪里我们给做对了？ Where did we go right?
还恭喜！ Congratulations!
你在干嘛？ What are you doing?
我要拿上账本 赶快跑路 I'm taking these books and I'm leaving.
别想拦我 我主意已定 Don't try and stop me, I've made up my mind.
等等 你要干嘛去？ Wait a minute, where do you think you're going?
我去自首 只有这条路了 I'm turning myself in. It's the only way.
我去跟国税局坦白 I'm going to play ball with the lRS.
跟政府合作 I'm going to cooperate with the authorities.
坦白从宽 争取减几年刑期 They'll reduce my sentence...
表现好还有机会再减刑 then there's time off for good behavior.
没准还能在监狱图书馆混个一差半职 Maybe I'll get a good job in the prison library.
保持联络吧 和你一起工作很荣幸 Please keep in touch. It's been very nice working with you.
小李 小李 小李 Leo. Leo. Leo.
你是吓坏了 你是太紧张了 放松 冷静 好吗 Frightened Leo. Nervous Leo, relax, take it easy. All right?
你是一时冲动 不知道自己在干嘛 You're overwrought. You don't know what you're doing.
你只是吓坏了…账本给我拿来！ You're acting out of panic. Give me those freaking books!
给我！给我！ Give me! Give me!
当初我就不该听你的 I never should have listened to you!
遇见你之前我还是个正人君子 I was an honest man before I met you.
正人君子？你就是个无名小卒 An honest man? You were an honest mouse!
- 我恨你！ - 加倍！加倍！ How I hate you! Double! Double! Double!
胖子！胖子！ Fat! Fat!
- 我没那么胖 - 胖子！ I'm not that fat. Fat!
胖子！ Fat!
死胖子！ Fatty!
死胖子 鬼胖子 咸湿胖子 大胖海象！ Fatso! You fat, fat, fatty, fatty, fat walrus!
- 账本还我！ - 不给！就不给！ Give me the fat books! Never! Never!
死胖子！死胖子！ Fat, fat, fatty fat!
快给我！ Jesus! Give them to me!
- 给我账本！ - 恭喜！ Give me the books, man! Congratulations!
恭喜！ Congratulations!
- 给我 给我 - 不要 不要 Give it to me. Give it to me. No. No.
这才叫狂欢庆贺 Now that's what I call celebrating.
- 你这老玻璃 你毁了我 - 你这忘恩负义的！ You lousy fruit. You ruined me. You ungrateful breeder!
要不是他挺身而出 拯救了你的戏 After he stepped in and saved your little show...
真不敢想…放开我项链！ I cannot-- Let go my chains!
快放手 Leave him alone.
我项链 My chains!
汝等打破了神圣誓言 汝等必须死 You have broken the Siegfried Oath! You must die!
汝等都得死！ You all must die!
你发什么神经 你这新纳粹疯子 What are you doing, you neo-Nazi nitwit?
- 你的戏大火特火了！ - 谁管这个？ Your show's a hit! Who cares?
- 你把希特勒演成了蠢货！ - 他本来就是蠢货 You made a fool out of Hitler! He didn't need our help.
都站好了！到处乱跑 吾该如何射击！ Stand still! How can I shoot you if you keep moving?
- 回来 - 桌子底下 桌子底下 Get back here! Under the desk! Under the desk!
- 亲爱的快点 这次进去咱就别出柜了 - 我看行 Darling, quick, back in the closet. Okay.
这样不好 吾不杀人 This is no good. I'm not killing anybody.
汝等必须合作！ You must cooperate!
必亚脱 布鲁姆 All right, Bialystock und Bloom.
抓到你们了 尽管祈祷吧！ Now I got you. Say your prayers!
记不记得我说过 陷得太深了我会提醒你 Remember I told you, I'd tell you when we're in too deep?
- 记得 - 这下陷得太深了 Yeah? We're in too deep.
- 再会！ - 弗兰兹 别这样 拜托 Auf Wiedersehen. Franz, don't do it, please.
求求你了 别这样 别这样 I beg you. No. No.
汝等无胆匪类 You sniveling cowards!
竟嚎哭于桌下 Cringing under a desk!
如幼蝶般啜泣求生 Clinging to life like baby butterflies.
弗兰兹·李波肯让汝等见识一下 何为男儿之死 Franz Liebkind will show you how to die like a man!
居然卡壳 一旦倒霉起来 真是… It's jammed. Boy, when things go wrong......
到此为止了！下次 坚决不找作家！ That's it! Next time, no author.
你干嘛要杀我们 What are you shooting at us for, anyway?
汝等黄口竖子！ You Teutonic twit!
等等 等一下 Wait. Wait a minute.
我有办法了 我有办法了结了 I just got an idea. A way to close the show!
弗兰兹 Franz.
- 这边 这边 - 哪边 哪边？ There, there. Where? Where?
弗兰兹 听我说 Franz, listen to me.
为何不用这枪做点正事 Why don't you use this where it'll do some good?
干嘛不杀演员？杀演员？ Why don't you shoot the actors? The actors?
对 杀演员！ Yes, the actors!
今晚所有人都嘲笑你家元首 Everybody laughed at your beloved Fuhrer tonight.
为什么？就因为演员 演员们做戏取笑他 And why? Because of the actors. The actors were making fun of him.
- 对 汝说得对 是演员！ - 没错 给你 买子弹去 Yeah, you're right. The actors! Yes. Here, go, buy bullets.
杀 把演员都杀光 吾将演员杀光 Kill. Kill all the actors. I must kill all the actors.
等等 Wait a minute.
你说什么 什么杀演员 What are you talking about? What do you mean, kill the actors?
不能杀演员 演员不是动物 You can't kill the actors. Actors are not animals.
- 他们是人类 - 是吗？ They're human beings. They are?
你跟演员一起吃过饭就懂了 听着 Have you ever eaten with one? Here, listen......
- 开门，警察！ - 是警察！ Open up, it's the police. The police!
快开门！ I said open up that door.
快点 伙计们 Come on, boys!
吾从未加入纳粹党 吾绝未行恶！ I was never a member of the Nazi party. I had nothing to do
你 把枪放下 You, drop that gun.
警官！ Officer!
- 怎么回事 - 这德国鬼子发疯了 What's going on here? This crazy kraut is crackers!
他硬闯进门 还要杀我们 He crashed in here, and crassly tried to kill us.
- 哦 罗杰 真押韵 - 谢谢 亲爱的 Oh, Roger, what alliteration. Thank you, darling.
- 好 你俩可以走了 - 谢大人！ Okay! Youse two can go. Thank you.
要杀人是吗？ Tried to kill him, eh?
欧罗警官 逮捕此人 下一站 星星监狱 Officer O'Rourke, take this man in. Next stop, Sing Sing.
星星监狱！吾拒绝！汝等休想活捉了我！ Sing Sing. Nein. You'll never take me alive.
怎么回事？ What happened?
吾跌断了另一条腿 I broke my other leg.
好吧 你又是谁 为什么他要杀你 All right, who are you? And why was he trying to shoot you?
我什么也不知道 欧杜尔警官 I haven't the slightest idea, Sergeant O'Toole.
我叫欧必脱 也是欧字辈 The name is O'Bialystock.
我这是碰巧经过 看这正上演欧布莱恩的帮派片戏码 I was just passing by on me way to the Pat O'Brien film festival...
所以就躲在这边看个究竟 and I ducked in to see what the hell was going on.
我现在就走 And now I'll be on me way...
省得我的声音吵到大人您 before me voice gets any higher.
就像咱老家说的 “打的走” As we say in the old country, "taxi."
等一下 Hold it!
- 警长 瞧瞧这个 - 什么 Hey, Sarge, look at this. What?
我找到两个账本 一本写着 “给国税局看” I found these two accounting books. This one says, "Show to the lRS."
- 另一本呢 - “绝对别给国税局看” And what's the other one say? "Never show to the lRS."
看来你们三位得跟我走一趟 I think the three of you better come downtown with me.
- 三位？ - 没错 你 还有这两本账 Three? Yeah. You and them two books.
必亚脱先生？ Mr. Bialystock?
布鲁姆先生？你们在哪？ Mr. Bloom? Where are you?
大家等你们参加首演派对呢 Everyone is waiting for you at the opening night party.
乌拉 帮我 Ulla, help me.
出什么事了？ What happened to you?
我知道了 I know.
你想挂衣服 结果把自己挂上了 You hung up your coat while you were still in it.
谢谢你帮我下来 Thank you for helping me down.
- 你在上面干嘛？ - 我藏了起来 What were you doing up there? Hiding.
- 藏了起来 - 躲着谁？躲着什么事？ I was hiding. From who? From what?
躲警察 警察刚才就在这 把老马抓走了 From the police. They were just here. They've arrested Max.
- 他们找到账本了 - 我不知道怎么办 可怜的老马 They found the books. I don't know what to do. Poor Max.
我也许应该自首 跟他一起坐牢 Maybe I should turn myself in and go to jail with him.
好了 小甜点 我们都爱老马 Well, my sweet cupcake, I know we both love Max.
但依我看 你有两条路可以选 But, it seems to me you have two choices.
第一条 你和必亚脱先生一起坐牢 Number one, you can go to jail with Mr. Bialystock...
三年之后又三年 三年之后又三年 for years and years and years.
或者第二条 Or, number two...
你带上两百万 you can take that $2 million...
带上乌拉 一起去里约 and Ulla and go to Rio.
天啊 真是难以抉择 Oh, my God. What a dilemma.
我该怎么做 Oh, what should I do?
是去监牢还是里约 Should I go to jail or go to Rio?
有信件 Mail call.
胖子 Hey, fatso.
- 我没那么胖 - 随便你 I'm not that fat! Says you.
有张明信片寄给你 You got a postcard.
- 明信片 哪来的？ - 巴西 A postcard. From where? Brazil.
巴西 我在巴西哪有熟人 Brazil. Who do I know in Brazil?
我问你做什么？ Why am I asking you?
“亲爱的老马 里约比你说的还要美” "Dear Max, Rio was everything you said it was and more.
“乌拉和我经常想起你” "Ulla and I think of you every chance we get.
“每天早上 我们一起在阳台上吃着早餐” "ln the morning, when we have breakfast on our terrace......
“各种熏鱼吃个饱” "Many different herrings.
“下午 我们去海边 互相擦15号防晒油” "ln the afternoon, when we rub each others sun-drenched bodies...
“香蕉奶油和椰子油味的” "with banana cream coconut oil number 15.
“到了晚上” "And then in the evening...
“我们在月光下跳起桑巴” "when we samba together in the moonlight. "
快到里约来找到幸福 ♪ You'll find your happiness in Rio ♪
这里的沙滩洒满珍珠 ♪ The beaches there are strewn with pearls ♪
热带的暖风随时为你吹送 ♪ The tropic breezes always blow there ♪
还有数不尽的女孩和秋波 ♪ And, so we hear, do the girls ♪♪
“抱歉 我得赶紧走了 乌拉等不及了” "Sorry, must run. Ulla's waiting.
“就快十一点了” "It's almost 11:00.
“真希望你也在 你的老搭档” "Wish you were here. Your pal...
“小李” "Leo. "
彷如该隐和亚伯 微笑之下放暗箭 ♪ Just like Cain and Abel You pulled a sneak attack ♪
还当你我是兄弟 ♪ I thought that we were brothers ♪
你从背后给了一刀 ♪ Then you stabbed me in the back ♪
出卖 ♪ Betrayed ♪
我被彻底出卖 ♪ Oh, boy, I'm so betrayed ♪
有如参孙和戴丽拉 爱与诚已退场 ♪ Like Samson and Delilah Your love began to fade ♪
我哭泣在铁窗 你在里约暗爽 ♪ I'm crying in the hoosegow, You're in Rio getting laid ♪
出卖！ ♪ Betrayed! ♪
我果然被出卖 ♪ Let's face it, I'm betrayed ♪
兄弟 ♪ Boy ♪
我竟被你吃定 ♪ have I been taken ♪
我被如此离弃 ♪ I'm so forsaken ♪
我早该看清背后门道 ♪ I should have seen what came to pass ♪
一不留神自己摔跤 ♪ I should have known to watch my ass ♪
我就是奥赛罗 吞下一切苦果 ♪ I feel like Othello Everything is lost ♪
小李就是亚戈 老马惨被玩脱 ♪ Leo is lago, Max is double-crossed ♪
我心碎又震惊 被出卖的就是我 ♪ I'm so dismayed Did I mention I'm betrayed? ♪
现在的我铁窗服役 没人为我付钱保释 ♪ Now I'm about to go to jail There's no one who will pay my bail ♪
没人可以让我哭诉 ♪ I have no one who I can cry to ♪
没人让我说声告别 ♪ No one I can say goodbye to ♪
我喘不过气 喘不过气了 I'm drowning. I'm drowning.
我喘不过气了 I'm drowning here.
我感觉我即将倒下 I'm going down for the last time.
我的一生浮现在我眼前 I see my whole life flashing before my eyes.
我看见 I see...
一个饱经风霜的谷仓 白木围栏的牧场 a weathered old farmhouse with a white picket fence.
我穿过开满鲜花的大地 带着我的小狗 莱西 I'm running through fields of alfalfa with my collie, Rex.
别跑 莱西 别踩坏了花儿 No, Rex, not on the alfalfa.
然后 我看见了妈妈 And...I see my mother.
我看见妈妈在回廊站立 I see Mama standing on the back porch...
穿着一身旧而整洁的睡袍 in a worn but clean gingham gown.
我听见妈妈在呼唤我 And I hear my mama calling out to me.
阿尔文 别忘了干活 Alvin! Don't forget your chores.
柴得捆好了 牛得挤奶了 The wood needs a-cording and the cows need a-milking!
阿尔文 阿尔文！ Alvin! Alvin!
等等 我又不叫阿尔文 Wait a minute. My name's not Alvin.
这不是我的人生 That's not my life.
我眼前闪过了别人的人生 Somebody else's life is flashing before my eyes.
这是什么鬼？ What the hell is that about?
我不是凤凰男 我可是街头长大的 I'm not a hillbilly. I grew up in the Bronx.
小李夺走了我的一切 甚至我的过去 Leo's taken everything. Even my past.
我的过去 已成死灰 ♪ My past's a dying ember ♪
但是等等 我还记得 ♪ But wait, now I remember ♪
一切怎么开始？是他走进我的办公室 ♪ How did it begin? He walked into my office ♪
带着他荒唐的妙计 ♪ With his cockamamie scheme ♪
“我发现一个小灵感 烂戏要比好戏赚” ♪ "You can make more money With a flop than with a hit" ♪
我们做得到 我们做得到 ♪ We can do it, we can do it ♪
“我做不到” ♪ "l can't do it" ♪
我们做得到 ♪ We can do it! ♪
“我做不到” ♪ "l can't do it" ♪
“再见 老马” "Goodbye, Max."
主啊 赐我横财万贯 “我回来了 老马” ♪ Lord, I want that money! "I'm back, Max" ♪
来吧 小李 我们做得到 第一步 找个剧本 ♪ Come on, Leo, we can do it Step one, find the play ♪
摸摸 闻闻 亲亲 你好李波肯先生 ♪ See it, smell it, touch it, kiss it Hello, Mister Liebkind ♪
日安就跳跳 日安就蹦蹦 ♪ Guten Tag hop hop Guten Tag clop clop ♪
阿道夫·伊丽莎白·希特勒？ Adolf Elizabeth Hitler?
日安就跳跳 日安就蹦蹦 ♪ Guten Tag hop hop Guten Tag clop clop ♪
第二步 请个导演 Step two, hire the director.
要基情 要基情 要… ♪ Keep it gay keep it gay, keep it ♪
一二三四 二二三四 ♪ Two, three, kick, turn Turn, turn, kick, turn ♪
乌拉 Ulla!
第三步 筹钱 Step three, raise the money.
上帝送来了必亚利 ♪ Along came Bialy ♪
第四步 凑齐演员 Step four, hire all the actors!
我是吟游诗人 一点灵感和一点 ♪ A wandering minstrel, l A thing of shreds and ♪
下一位！木偶小男生 ♪ Next! The Little Wooden Boy ♪
下一位！你就是希特勒 ♪ Next! That's our Hitler ♪
断条腿！“吾断了条腿” Break a leg! "l broke my leg."
希特勒和德意志也有春天 居然红了 ♪ Springtime for Hitler and Germany A surprise smash ♪
希特勒和德意志也有春天 能演上好几年 ♪ Springtime for Hitler and Germany lt'll run for years ♪
我们是哪做对了？ ♪ Where did we go right? ♪
账本给我 胖子胖子死胖子 ♪ Give me those books Fat, fat, fatty ♪
账本 胖子 账本 胖子 账本 胖子 账本 胖子 ♪ Books, fat, books, fat Books, fat, books, fat ♪
老玻璃 杀演员 ♪ Lousy fruit, kill the actors ♪
你跟他们吃过饭吗 ♪ You ever eat with one? ♪
然后你逃去里约 开心在海滩嬉戏 ♪ Then you ran to Rio and you're safely out of reach ♪
我苦苦守着铁窗 你和乌拉爽到天明 ♪ I'm behind these bars You're banging Ulla on the beach! ♪
被布鲁图斯出卖 我就是凯撒本人 ♪ Just like Julius Caesar Was betrayed by Brutus ♪
以为你是小小会计 不料是犹大附了身 ♪ Who'd think an accountant would turn out to be my Judas ♪
我心碎至极 ♪ I'm so dismayed ♪
难道这就是报应 ♪ Is this how I'm repaid? ♪
惨遭出卖 ♪ To be Betrayed ♪
出卖！ ♪ Betrayed ♪♪
陪审团的各位 你们有结果了吗 Gentlemen of the jury, have you reached your verdict?
是的法官大人 有结果了 Yes, Your Honor, we have.
我们认定被告 绝对有罪 We find the defendant incredibly guilty.
不 No.
抱宝宝 亲宝宝 Hold me, touch me.
我这会没空 I'm a little busy.
被告还有什么话要说吗 Does the defendant have anything to say on his own behalf?
有的 法官大人 我有话要说 Yes, Your Honor, I do.
我承认 过去二十年里 I admit for the last 20 years...
我是个口腹蜜剑 两面三刀 I've been a lying, double-crossing, two-faced...
卑劣无情 见利忘义的流氓 backstabbing, despicable crook.
但我无从选择 But I had no choice.
我是个百老汇制作人 I was a Broadway producer.
我注定无视道德 A man without a conscience...
也注定无人关心 and with no one who gave a damn about him.
法官大人 这是我最伤心之处 And that Your Honor, is what hurts the most.
我本以为 终于找到一位忠诚搭档 I thought I'd at last found a loyal partner.
一个我所关心的人 也是 A man I cared about, and...
一个关心我的人 who I thought cared about me.
最伤我心的是 现在 是我最需要他的时候 And what breaks my heart, is that now when I need him most...
他却离弃于我 he's deserted me.
而我也将永远失去他的音讯 And I will probably never see or hear from him ever again.
不是这样的！ That's not true!
安静 保持法庭安静！ Order! Order in the court!
桑巴音乐停下！ And stop that samba!
你是谁 我是里奥·布鲁姆 Who are you? I am Leopold Bloom.
马克斯·必亚脱的合伙人 Max Bialystock's partner.
那么亲爱的 你是谁 And who are you my dear?
我的名字是 乌拉·莺歌·韩森·本森·扬森 My name is Ulla lnga Hansen Benson Yansen...
塔伦·海伦·司娃森·思沃森 Tallen Hallen Svaden Swanson...
- 布鲁姆 - 布鲁姆？ Bloom. Bloom?
- 你是他妻子？ - 是的 法官大人 You're his wife? Ja, Your Honor.
除非结婚 否则他不肯跟我做 He wouldn't do it unless we got married.
你这二货 What a schmuck.
布鲁姆先生 你有何缘由非要回来 Now, Mr. Bloom, why in the world would you want to come back here...
- 向我们自首？ - 什么缘由？我要对良心说话 and give yourself up? Why? To speak on his behalf.
我们都知道马克思·必亚脱是一个谎话连篇 两面三刀 We all know that Max Bialystock is a lying, double-crossing...
口腹蜜剑 卑劣无情 见利忘义 two-faced, slimy, manipulative...
- 无耻小人 - 拜托 under-handed-- Please...
不用雪上加霜了 don't help me.
法官大人 法官大人 容我向陪审团解释 Your Honor, Your Honor, if I may address the court.
法律的意义 The law was created...
是保护人们 不要犯错 to protect people from being wronged.
那么是谁让马克斯·必亚脱犯了错？ So whom has Max Bialystock wronged?
- 不是这些可爱的女士们 - 不是 Well, not these dear ladies. No.
不 也不是我 不是 No, and not me. Not......
不是我 Not me.
我曾经是个无名小卒 I was this nobody.
从来没有人亲切地叫我一声小李 No one ever called me Leo before......
法官大人 这对案情来说可能不是大事 I mean, your Honor, I know it isn't a big legal point...
但即使是在幼儿园 大家也只会叫我布鲁姆 but even when I was in kindergarten, everybody always called me Bloom.
我想说的是 即使我在里约 I guess what I'm trying to say is that, even when I was in Rio...
拥有了我梦想的一切 and had everything I'd ever dreamed of...
我突然想起这个人 I suddenly realized that this man...
这个人 this man......
从未有人让我感觉像人 ♪ No one ever made me feel like someone ♪
直到他出现 ♪ Till him ♪
人生只是流程 一成不变 ♪ Life was really nothing but a glum one ♪
直到他出现 ♪ Till him ♪
我的存在仿佛只是悲剧 ♪ My existence bordered on the tragic ♪
永远静止 没有机会改变 ♪ Always timid, never took a chance ♪
直到他施展魔力 ♪ Then I felt his magic ♪
我的心灵开始舞蹈 ♪ And my heart began to dance ♪
曾经我只会退缩 胆小怕事 ♪ I was always frightened, fraught with worry ♪
直到他出现 ♪ Till him ♪
毫无目的 尸位素餐 ♪ I was going nowhere in a hurry ♪
直到他出现 ♪ Till him ♪
他填补我空虚的人生 ♪ He filled up my empty life ♪
让我如此充实 ♪ Filled it to the brim ♪
这样的人世上无他 ♪ There could never ever be another one ♪
只有他本人 ♪ like him ♪
小李 Leo.
小李 我真没想到 Leo, I never realized...
你居然这么会唱歌 you're a good singer.
你过奖了 Thank you.
不 真的 就跟专业歌手一样 No, really, like a professional.
这是为你而唱 老马 因为你是我的朋友 Well, I sang it for you, Max. I sang it because I'm your friend.
是吗 You are?
我认识不少三教九流 但是 I've had a lot of relationships, but...
无法将他们任何人称为朋友 you couldn't call any of them friend.
但现在想来 But come to think of it...
他们没有谁真正了解我 no one ever, ever really knew me.
直到他出现 ♪ Till him ♪
人人都想着占我便宜 ♪ Everyone was always out to screw me ♪
直到他出现 ♪ Till him ♪
从未认识真正可信的朋友 ♪ Never met a man I ever trusted ♪
只有律师和我的钱包斗法 ♪ Always dealt with shysters in the past ♪
现在一切终于转变 因为朋友就在身边 ♪ Now I'm well adjusted 'cause I've got a friend at last ♪
求别唱 Don't help me.
一生独来独往 从未并肩作战 ♪ Always playing singles never doubles ♪
直到他出现 ♪ Till him ♪
从未有人可以共担麻烦 ♪ Never had a pal to share my troubles ♪
直到他出现 ♪ Till him ♪
他填补我空虚的人生 ♪ He filled up my empty life ♪
让我如此充实 ♪ Filled it to the brim ♪
这样的人世上无他 ♪ There could never ever be another one ♪
只有他本人 ♪ Like him ♪♪
各位 要毁掉这二位如此美好的友谊 Gentlemen, it breaks my heart to break up...
绝对会让我心碎 所以我不会 such a beautiful friendship, so I won't.
两人判五年徒刑 星星州立管教所 Five years in the State Penitentiary at Sing Sing.
就在星星 ♪ Gotta sing sing ♪
你可以锁住我们 扔掉钥匙 ♪ Oh, you can lock us up und lose the key ♪
但有爱的心灵 自由无比 ♪ But hearts in love are always free ♪
来吧 诸位 Come on, boys!
爱的囚徒 苍天在上 ♪ Prisoners of love, blue skies above ♪
甘愿画地为牢 因为有爱可依 ♪ 'Cause we're still prisoners of love ♪♪
恭喜 Congratulations.
你已经认购了45%的《爱的囚徒》股权 下一位！ You now own 45% of Prisoners Of Love. Next!
咱们卖出了多少股票 How much have you sold so far?
- 600% - 才这些？ 600%. Is that all?
接着卖 接着卖 Keep selling. Keep selling.
住手！ Break it up!
给我！ Give me that!
我跟你们说了多少回 How many times do I have to tell you guys?
排练时候不准动刀 No knife fights in rehearsal.
嗨 你在干嘛 没有伴奏？来入队 Hi, what are you in for, lack of rhythm? Get in line.
大家都来排队 马上 Everybody get in line, right away.
好了小野兽们 大家一起给点力 All right you animals, let's take it all together now.
从头开始 奏起来 弗兰兹 From the top! Hit it, Franz.
爱的囚徒 苍天在上 ♪ Prisoners of love Blue skies above ♪
锁不住我们有爱的心 ♪ Can't keep our hearts in jail ♪
拍子 伙计们 跟上拍子 Tempo fellows. Pick up that tempo!
- 爱的囚徒 - 这就对了 ♪ Prisoners of love ♪ That's right.
欲海沉眠 ♪ Our turtle doves ♪
- 命案犯的声部 - 嘿 你等会 Okay, just the murderers! Hey, you.
典狱长打算投资你们的戏 The warden wants to get in on this thing.
跟典狱长说 他现在认购了《爱的囚徒》100%的股权 Tell the warden he now owns 100% of Prisoners Of Love.
- 谢了兄弟 - 唱起来 犯人们 Thank you. Sing out, criminals.
- 让他们听出铁窗泪来 - 加油各位 Let them hear you in solitary! Take it home, boys.
我们周六晚上就要去莱文沃斯监狱演出了 We open at Leavenworth on Saturday night!
嘿 必亚脱 布鲁姆 李波肯 好消息 Hey, Bialystock, Bloom, Liebkind. Good news.
州长来信 This just came from the Governor.
“先生们 我在此签署特赦” "Gentlemen, you are hereby granted a full pardon...
“以表彰你们以出众的歌舞表演” "for having, through song and dance, brought joy and laughter...
“为星星监狱的每位杀人犯 强奸犯 带来无限欢笑” "into the hearts of every murderer, rapist and sex maniac in Sing Sing."
- 你们自由了！ - 自由了！ You're free. Free!
下一站 《爱的囚徒》登陆百老汇！ Next stop, Prisoners Of Love on Broadway!
阿道夫 速速告知其它鸽子们 Adolf, you must tell the other birds!
有爱的心灵永远自由 ♪ But hearts in love are always free ♪♪
就在星星 ♪ Got to Sing Sing ♪
就在星星 ♪ Sing Sing ♪
爱的囚徒 苍天在上 ♪ Prisoners of love Blue skies above ♪
锁不住我们有爱的心 ♪ Can't keep our hearts in jail ♪
爱的囚徒 欲海沉眠 ♪ Prisoners of love, our turtle doves ♪
罚金在上 愿君保释 ♪ Soon coming round with bail ♪ ♪ Tote that bail ♪
你可以锁住我们 扔掉钥匙 ♪ You can lock us up and lose the key ♪
但有爱的心灵 自由无比 ♪ But hearts in love are always free ♪
爱的囚徒 苍天在上 ♪ Prisoners of love Blue skies above ♪
甘愿画地为牢 ♪ 'Cause we're still prisoners ♪
甘愿画地为牢 ♪ We're still prisoners ♪
甘愿画地为牢 因为有爱可依 ♪ We're still prisoners of love, love, love, love ♪♪
小李老马 重装出发 ♪ Leo and Max, up off our backs ♪
康庄大道就在前方 ♪ Back on the great white way ♪
小李老马 重装出发 ♪ Leo and Max, back on our tracks ♪
且看我们兄弟回归 ♪ We're back on top to stay ♪
正所谓君子爱财 取之有道 ♪ So when we take your money, never fear ♪
我们要轰动百老汇 响彻大道 ♪ We'll knock Broadway right on its ear ♪
黄金班底 剧本也精彩 ♪ The cast is great, the script is swell ♪
不过且听我们道来 先生 ♪ But this we're telling you, sirs ♪
没有制作人 就没有好戏看 ♪ It's just no go, you've got no show Without the producers ♪
我们绝不退缩 ♪ We'll never quit ♪
大作跟着大作 ♪ Hit after hit ♪
必亚脱·布鲁姆 巨献
金牌制作人 小李和老马 ♪ The producers, Leo And Max ♪
（穆雷号街车）
（屈身求菊）
（高脚犹太人）
（南巴赛克）
（喵）
（买阿蜜）
（冰上推销员之死）
剧终 前方小彩蛋
导演 ◎ 苏珊·斯托曼 2001年百老汇版本音乐剧导演
编剧 ◎ 梅尔·布鲁克斯 托马斯·梅汉 2001年百老汇版编剧
主演 ◎ 内森·连恩 2001年百老汇版主演 荣获托尼奖最佳男演员
主演 ◎ 马修·布罗德里克 2001年百老汇版主演 托尼奖最佳男演员提名
主演 ◎ 乌玛·瑟曼
主演 ◎ 威尔·法莱尔
片名：金牌制作人 2001年版音乐剧荣获12项托尼奖 是史上得奖最多的音乐剧
主演 ◎ 加里·碧奇 2001年百老汇原版演员 荣获托尼奖最佳男配角
主演 ◎ 罗杰·巴特 2001年百老汇原版演员 托尼奖最佳男配角提名
词曲/原作 ◎ 梅尔·布鲁克斯 1968电影版 编剧及导演 2001年百老汇版编剧 作词 作曲
序曲已经结束 大幕轰然升起 ♪ The overture is over The curtain starts to rise ♪
如同置身梦境 音画宛如波涛 ♪ You're suddenly in clover You can't believe your eyes ♪
你定神坐在席位 忽而会心一笑 ♪ You're sitting on the aisle You break into a smile ♪
这魔力从何而来 而今你终于知晓 ♪ Why this magic feeling? And then you realize ♪
正所谓 ♪ That there is ♪
精彩尽在百老汇 ♪ Nothing like a show on Broadway ♪
百老汇剧剧精彩 ♪ Nothing like a Broadway show ♪
心弦为之而颤 就在百老汇 ♪ Hearts will skip a beat on Broadway ♪
如果心烦意乱 听我的劝 ♪ If you're feeling blue, I'm telling you ♪
就来百老汇 ♪ That's the place to go ♪
电影太长 结局太丧 电视纯粹没营养 ♪ Movies drag, their endings sag, TV's just a bore ♪
不如走上这条街 放眼观瞧 ♪ So hit the street And move your feet ♪
这里是戏剧人的自豪 ♪ To the place we all adore ♪
皆因为 精彩尽在百老汇 ♪ Because there's nothing like a show on Broadway ♪
百老汇剧剧精彩 ♪ There's nothing like a Broadway show ♪
总有人说 剧场已经死掉 ♪ It's often been said The theater is dead ♪
剧评家咆哮了又咆哮 ♪ The critics repeat it en masse ♪
然而剧场又活了 还要活得更好 ♪ But the theater's alive It's gonna survive ♪
尽管阵痛也免不了 ♪ Although it's a pain in the ass ♪
你等排上长队 终于买上票 ♪ You waited forever and finally got tickets ♪
要进座位 得穿过栏杆 ♪ To get to your seat you gotta cross pickets ♪
结果右边坐了个大胖墩 ♪ The guy to your right Is frightfully tight ♪
左边坐了个软骨头 ♪ The guy to your left appears to have rickets ♪
音乐烂 歌词烂 ♪ The music's yuck The lyrics suck ♪
演员烂的没法瞧 ♪ The casting is all wrong ♪
三急想要方便下 厕所排队五里长 ♪ And when you reach the bathroom The line is five miles long ♪
即便如此 精彩尽在百老汇 ♪ But still there's nothing like a show on Broadway ♪
百老汇剧剧精彩 ♪ There's nothing like a Broadway show ♪
你发誓再也不来 ♪ You swear you'll never go again ♪
结果却很难做到 ♪ It's simply not worthwhile ♪
你信誓旦旦 但总有一天 ♪ You make that vow And then somehow ♪
不知为何 又进了剧场 ♪ You're back there on the aisle ♪
正所谓 ♪ That's why there's ♪
精彩尽在百老汇 ♪ Nothing like a show on Broadway ♪
百老汇剧剧精彩 ♪ There's nothing like a Broadway show ♪
除了电影 ♪ Till you're in movies ♪
精彩尽在百老汇 ♪ There's nothing like a Broadway show ♪
尽管这里要花上几百块就坐这么一小会 ♪ And though it is expensive at a hundred bucks a throw ♪
精彩尽在 ♪ There's nothing ♪
尽在百老汇 ♪ like a Broadway show ♪♪
日安就蹦蹦 ♪ Guten Tag hop hop ♪
日安就跳跳 ♪ Guten Tag clop clop ♪
我最亲爱的 ♪ Ach du lieber und ♪
小男孩 ♪ oh boy! ♪
日安就踢踢 ♪ Guten Tag clap clap ♪
日安就打打 ♪ Guten Tag slap slap ♪
我最亲爱的 ♪ Ach du lieber ♪
多么欢畅 ♪ What a joy! ♪
喝了吃吃吃 ♪ We essen und fressen ♪
吃了喝喝喝 ♪ Und tanzen und trinken ♪
连喝带吃 ♪ Tanzen und trinken ♪
直到酒气冲天 ♪ Until we get stinking ♪
我们载歌载舞 ♪ So we hop our hops ♪
我们旋转舞步 ♪ Und we clop our clops ♪
烂醉如泥 ♪ Und we drink our Schnapps ♪
直到杯盘见底 ♪ Till we platz ♪
烂醉如泥 ♪ We drink our Schnapps ♪
直到杯盘见底 ♪ Till we platz ♪
我最亲爱的 ♪ Ach du lieber ♪
多么开怀 ♪ What a joy ♪
喝了吃吃吃 ♪ We essen und fressen ♪
吃了喝喝喝 ♪ Und tanzen und trinken ♪
连吃带喝 ♪ Tanzen und trinken ♪
直到酒气冲天 ♪ Until we get stinking ♪
酒气冲天 ♪ Stinking ♪
日安就蹦蹦 ♪ Guten Tag hop hop ♪
日安就跳跳 ♪ Guten Tag clop clop ♪
我最亲爱的 ♪ Guten Tag, mein lieber ♪
宝贝 ♪ Schatz ♪
我们载歌载舞 ♪ So we hop our hops ♪
我们旋转舞步 ♪ Und we clop our clops ♪
烂醉如泥 ♪ Und we drink our Schnapps ♪
直到杯盘见底 ♪ Till we platz ♪
烂醉如泥 ♪ We drink our Schnapps ♪
直到杯盘见底 ♪ Till we platz ♪♪
不要忘记 购买封底的《我的奋斗》 Don't forget to buy Mein Kampf in paperback.
全国书店有售 Available near you...
新华书店 at Borders Books...
外文书店 三联书店 or Barnes and Noble...
还有亚马逊网站均有销售 und Amazon dot com.
衷心问候~ Guten Tag.
谢谢各位来看我们戏 ♪ Thanks for coming to see our show ♪
很遗憾通知您 我们马上要走 ♪ Sad to tell you we got to go ♪
抓起你的帽子和脑袋 赶紧滚去门口 ♪ Grab your hat and head for the door ♪
要是还没看懂 也没别的可瞧 ♪ In case you didn't notice, there ain't any more ♪
如果喜欢我们的戏 请跟大家推荐 ♪ If you like our show, tell everyone, but ♪
如果你不喜欢 把你的大嘴把严 ♪ If you think it stinks, keep your big mouth shut ♪
欢迎你来看戏 但我们要高喊 ♪ We're glad you came but we have to shout ♪
再见（西/法/德/意） ♪ Adios, au revoir Wiedersehen, ta, ta, ta ♪
再见 ♪ Goodbye ♪
你走吧！ ♪ Get lost ♪
出去吧！（梅尔·布鲁克斯本尊） ♪ Get out ♪♪
演完啦 It's over.